Skew from the Left

Just Another Rant About a Religionist Pretending to be a Scientist

2009-10-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17267

Contemporary astrophysics hold the scientific key to prove the existence of God, but unfortunately very few know the scientific facts, said Fr. Robert J. Spitzer, S.J, PhD, during a conference delivered on Sunday at the John Paul II Center for the New Evangelization in Denver, Colorado.

Yes, please, let's have the man who's devoted his life to a fairy tale arbitrarily edict that the reason science hasn't found his imaginary friend is because scientists don't know the scientific facts. Right. How about this: the reason that theologians haven't disproved the existence of God is because they don't have all of the theological facts. Make sense? No, of course not, and that's the point. Theologians have no business weighing in on scientific matters.

"Atheism and pop culture have had a significant impact on Theism and it has to be confronted especially because Secularism and the negation of God are becoming pervasive," began the 57 year-old priest.

Ah, yes. God forbid that rationality and reason should pervade reality.

"Theism, in fact, can be better explained by contemporary science and modern philosophy better than ever before...

How about, no it can't. How about, the more we learn about the machinations of the universe in which we live, the more feeble religion becomes. The minister of the deluded doesn't get to make a priori claims just because he wishes they were true.

...but particularly interesting is what is happening in the field of astrophysics ... to the point that I can't imagine why agnosticism and Atheism are still popular," Fr. Spitzer said.

Well, of course he can't imagine...he's not even creative enough to come up with a truly original religion that has some cohesion. Instead, he follows an archaic philosophy of disjointed and contradicting tenets cobbled together from previous religious philosophies. Also, his job is to peddle a delusion! So, of course he can't "imagine" why the opposite of what his psychotic brain finds to be "true" can be found satisfactory by anyone else. But agnosticism and atheism are "popular" (if you can call 10 - 25% of a sample a "popular" share; I don't, but I'm more of a realist/numbers guy than an ass-clown who belches non-sense...most of the time) because they make sense and are supported by evidence. Or rather, they don't posit preposterous claims where there exists no evidence. The only reason that religion is popular is because it panders to people's base emotions; mostly fear and guilt and a desire for justice in a dispassionate universe.

Fr. Spitzer explained that, since science is based on a empirical model, it can change at any time.

Again, let's try "no". Science doesn't change, but scientific theories can. Science is a method; hypothesize, test the hypothesis, analyze results and draw conclusions. Repeat as necessary. How is it that a physicist (as this article claims: "The priest physicist (Spitzer) then proceeded to explain...") doesn't even understand the scientific method? Oh, wait...it's because he's not actually a physicist. (The bio on Spitzer's web page doesn't list a degree in physics. The closest he comes to being a "scientist" is a Bachelor of Arts in Accounting). Of course. How wonderfully specious of the Catholic News Agency to confer upon him a fake field of expertise in order to lend credibility to the claims he makes which reinforce the tenets of the Catholic church; namely that God created the universe.

...said Spitzer, the need to find an explanation to the universe's existence drives us to seek "a force that is previous and independent from the universe."

That's (not so) secret religious code for "God". Of course, following that logic, the need to find an explanation to the universe's existence which drove us to seek "a force that is previous and independent from the universe" (God) would also drive us to seek "a force that is previous and independent from God". Let's call it proto-God. Of course, the initial need to find an explanation to the existence of the universe which drove us to seek "God", and which also drove us to seek "proto-God", would also drive us to seek "pre-proto-God". And so on and so forth. It's really not a very good argument that "God must exist, because something must've started it all". Mostly, because there's no reason to insert a supernatural explanation as the "something" that must've started it all. Who knows, maybe it just started...for no reason at all. But if one really must believe that something started it all, where does one know to stop in the regression? The only logical place to stop is at the last point for which there is evidence: the universe itself.

According to Fr. Spitzer, Professor Penrose "has provided a mathematical model in which the possibilities of a universe that would not be gobbled without the existence of a Creator are simply improvable, to a point of mathematical impossibility."

Let's say that I've just won a lottery. And, let's say, that the odds of winning this particular lottery were one in a googolplex. Basically, a mathematical impossibility. But I did win it. Therefore, I AM THE CREATOR!! Bwahahahahahaaaa!! Makes sense, yes? No. Of course not. And that's my point...again. Just because the odds of this particular universe existing are astronomical, it doesn't logically follow that there must have been a creator tweaking the dials to get all of the constants just right for this particular universe to exist. The (flawed) assumption of theologians is that this universe exists for our sake. But that's not the case. We're merely a part of this universe. We evolved because the conditions were right in the universe, our galaxy, our solar system, and on our planet for humans to evolve and thrive.

"What can we conclude of this (ill-conceived proposition that the universe couldn't exist without a creator)? First that the Creator is really smart... and second that it must be a loving one, because He could choose so many more violent and chaotic alternatives, that it really has to make you wonder."

Make you wonder what? I thought it was already "concluded" that the creator was really smart and loving. No further wondering required. Anyway...first of all, "concluding" a creator isn't really a conclusion; it's an assumption; for which there is no supporting evidence. And second, consider all the suffering in this world: diseases, birth defects, natural disasters, poverty. Would a truly loving god create such an existence for its prized creation?? Not unless your definition of "loving" has been so twisted by trying to force it to fit with your theology as to have been rendered absolutely contrary to the accepted convention of love.

Fr. Spitzer explained to CNA that "all this information must be conveyed in a simple manner to our seminarians, our college and high school students, who are mostly ignorant...

He went on, but, honestly, the point had already been made: those coming up through the ranks of theological teachings are mostly ignorant simpletons. (Yeah, it's a cheap shot and a gross abuse of the quote and its context and not entirely true, but that's how I roll).

Fr. Spitzer is working in another three more 90-minute curricula: "The historical evidence of Jesus: we fabricate and tell you how to decide," "Suffering and the love of God: shut up and take it, bitch, you deserve much worse" and "Contemporary philosophical responses to Atheism: a pantomime."

I made up the sub-titles. Could you tell?

Today in the world of "You have GOT to be kidding"

2008-05-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

Pray-in at S.F. gas station asks god to lower prices

Rocky Twyman has a radical solution for surging gasoline prices: prayer.

No, Rocky is completely disconnected from reality and has a ridiculous delusion that he thinks will help combat rising gas prices.

"God is the only one we can turn to at this point," said Twyman, 59. "Our leaders don't seem to be able to do anything about it. The prices keep soaring and soaring."

Right. How about, instead of behaving like a moron, he does something productive to reduce the price of gas. For example, not organizing rallies that encourage people to burn fuel to get to a gas station to take part in a complete waste of time.

Twyman knows his approach to gasoline prices may sound simplistic.

"Simplistic"? No, come on! I'd say more like asinine, absurd, daft, insane, preposterous, irrational, illogical, witless, brainless...see how good I am with a thesaurus? =)

Obese Inmate

2008-04-28T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm...almost a year gone by since the last post. There must be something out there that pisses me off enough to blog about. In defense of my absence from the blog, I have to say that even the unbridled, ass-clown lunacy of the world pales in comparison to that of my job. So much so that -- ah, yes, here we are:

Obese Inmate

BENTONVILLE, Ark. — An inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu.

Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 308 pounds after eight months in the Benton County jail. He has filed a federal lawsuit complaining the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food.

According to the suit, Laswell weighed 413 pounds when he was jailed in September.

So, what, the prison should cater to his gluttony?? Wait a minute...he isn't happy that he's DOWN to 308lbs? He should be thanking the prison system, not suing it!

In the county jail's defense, they were more than willing to accommodate Laswell's request for more feed -- erm, "food" -- but they didn't have a big enough back-hoe.

"On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out," Laswell wrote in his complaint.

That's not because you're being mal-treated by the prison, it's because your f*cking obese!!!

"About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again."

Whaaaaaaa!

The meals, provided through Aramark Correctional Institution Services...

Now why doesn't that information surprise me.

Note also that this story was reported in Bentonville, Ark., home to none other than...tah-dahhhh!!!...Mal-Wart. Let's see...gluttonous murderer (alleged) with an overinflated sense of self-entitlement...and Wal-Mart. Is the connection not obvious?

Mor(m)ons in the Spotlight

2007-05-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm only assuming that a Republican from Utah is a mormon, but this guy certainly is a moron.

(Utah County Republican delegate Don) Larsen, who did not return a phone call or an e-mail seeking comment Thursday, is urging the closing of national borders to illegal immigrants to "prevent the destruction of the U.S. by stealth invasion."

Umm...correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the borders already closed to illegal immigrants? Wouldn't the fact that our borders are closed to them be what makes their immigration illegal?

"The mostly quiet and unspectacular invasion of illegal immigrants does not focus the attention of the nations the way open warfare does, but is all the more insidious for its stealth and innocuousness."

Innocuous 1 : producing no injury : harmless 2 : not likely to give offense or to arouse strong feelings or hostility.

If illegal immigration is innocuous, how can it be insidious? Hey Don, "The next time you have a thought...let it go". --Ron White

They Really Are Retarded...Here's Why

2007-04-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/7071

Speaking of America's obsession with guns, ammo, food, fuel and garages, it's no wonder that our fastest-growing sport is NASCAR racing.

Using NASCAR's own statistics, 6,000 gallons of premium fuel are consumed during a typical race weekend. At top speed, the cars get only two to five miles per gallon. Five miles per gallon for 500 miles means each car uses about 100 gallons of gas. Because these are not cars you buy at the corner lot, NASCAR vehicles do not adhere to EPA regulations: no mufflers, catalytic converters or other emissions controls.

In other words, it's pure All-American internal combustion emissions being pumped into the atmosphere. Among these emissions are huge amounts of lead, a disease-causing additive no longer available at the neighborhood pump.

And we wonder why NASCAR fans appear to be intellectually stunted...they are! Lead poisoning has a tendency to do that to a person. But maybe we needn't worry about the health effects of being a NASCAR fan. I mean, Bubba, Jr., wife/sister MaryLou, and son Bubba, Jr., Jr. were most likely already "challenged" if they became NASCAR fans in the first place. What's the worse that could happen if their intellectual dwarfism is further exacerbated? Oh, wait...Bubba, Jr., Jr. might end up the next Pretzeldent and we already know what it's like to have a man in office whose intellectual prowess leads one to believe he's been free-basing lead paint since adolescence.

From the National Safety Council: http://www.nsc.org/library/facts/lead.htm

...even very low levels of exposure can result in reduced IQ, learning disabilities, attention deficit disorders, behavioral problems, stunted growth, impaired hearing, and kidney damage. At high levels of exposure, a child may become mentally retarded...
Carrying the surname "Bush" appears to have the same affect.

When Reality Shows Attack

2007-01-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

Atheism is (or would be, if we lived in an intelligent society) a pretty benign stance to take. It's not a whole lot unlike a-Zeusism, or a-unicornism, or a-teapot-in-space-ism. I almost never feel compelled to bring up the fact that I don't believe there is a family of purple howler monkeys living in my colon, so why should we treat not believing in something that's just as unlikely to be real any differently.

Not sure why I said that, but it must've had something to do with this. A friend of mine brought it to my attention. I really wish she hadn’t.

I have so many reactions to it, not the least of which is a strange kind of nausea, that I'm not sure how to get them all out. I think I’d rather have someone reach into my body and rip out my spine than watch that again. I couldn’t even take it all in one sitting.

I’m embarrassed to be in the same species as her – wait, is she in the same species?? Can’t be. The way she was screeching, I swear she's the demented demon-spawn brought forth by the unholy union of a harpie and Jerry Falwell.

I mean, I know I should feel sorry for the mentally deranged, but…somehow she doesn’t come anywhere near deserving it. I mean, Christ on a Crapper, what the fuck is wrong with her??

Maybe you guys can just gawk and laugh at displays of lunacy and human disgrace like that, but it seriously fucks with my mind. I can’t… I mean… What the fuck!? What could possibly make a person think that behaving like that was in any way normal or acceptable? Especially knowing that there was an entire television crew there to record it for playback to the entire country! And you know what frustrates me even more than the boil on the face of humanity that is that woman? That a majority of the people in this country empathize with her.

Wait…is she saying “dork-sided”?? Oh, no…dark sided. And “terra” cards? What the fuck is a terra card? If she’s been listening to the pretzeldent – and I’m sure she has…she certainly seems like his kind o’ constit'ent– these “terra” cards must have something to do with al Qaeda, right? Okay, so “terra” card is kind of funny. It’s a little bit funny that the ability to pronounce words has been in-bred right the fuck out of her. No, actually, even that’s not funny, it’s just sad for all of us with even a remote sense of dignity. Sorry…I tried to laugh at some part of it. But it’s just disturbing. Can someone please tell me it was all an act? I really need for that not to have been real. Crap. If only I didn’t know better, I could convince myself that it was just a ratings put-on. But then that would be just as disturbing: that enough people in this country feed off of that kind of crap that a creator would make it up to sell advertising time.

How can that woman be so retarded? No, not retarded. To consider that woman retarded is to belittle mentally challenged people and I certainly don’t mean to do that. How do you describe a person who behaves in such a way as to not even really qualify as human? Hell, I can't even think of a lower life form that would embarrass itself with such a display.

Those poor kids. How terrible for them. Having your mom behave like that can seriously fuck you up! Would you want to show your face in school the day after that aired?? I doubt there's enough therapy in the world to un-screw a kid's psyche after being raised by a woman like that. You see the look on the youngest girl's face? She looked like, "Daddy, why is there a beast in our house and how did it learn to speak??!”

And after that whole act about the money being tainted by the dark-side (Are you there, Darth? It’s me, Margaret) and tearing up the check, she took the money anyway. I think the husband should've taken it and spent it on therapy for their kids.

Ignoring the complete lack of any kind of integrity or courage of conviction (I guess the train of thought was, "This money is tainted by the dark side but what the hell, Tiny Baby Jesus TM would want me to get my gastric bypass"), this woman is the epitome of what makes me hold provincial Christianity in such low regard. It breeds ignorance and a kind of self-righteousness that is way off the scale of baseless self-righteousness. I’m not even concerned, at the moment, with the lack of merit inherent to the Christian theological philosophy. I’m talking about loathing people like this woman; and the people on the planet who foster an environment in which this woman could exist without being splashed right out of the gene pool on a tidal wave of "what the fuck was mother nature thinking?". In this case, I guess it's not even about dogma of imaginary friends. It’s more likely that I’m just an elitist. I hate stupid people. And that woman is s-t-u-p-i-d. Stupid with a capital "look at me!".

Marking Time

2007-01-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

I've never been big on New Year's: it's an absolutely arbitrary holiday which comemorates nothing but the rolling of a number on a day capriciously chosen centuries ago. And, typically it involves either reflection on the past or looking to the future; reflecting makes me nostalgic and looking forward is code for "setting goals", which I don't often do. Besides, the holiday happens after my bed time. In any case, here's an entertaining reflection on 2006 by Ed Naha.

The 2006 WTF? Awards!

Sure would be nice to have a President

2006-12-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

March to Victory: December's Dead

During George W. Bush's press conference yesterday, a reporter brought up the overwhelming opposition among the American people to continuing our military presence in Iraq and asked " are you still willing to follow a path that seems to be in opposition to the will of the American people?"

(Between the lines: are you still so fucking stupid and arrogant that you think you can get away with this?)

Said Bush: "I am willing to follow a path that leads to victory, and that's exactly why we're conducting the review we are. Victory in Iraq is achievable . it's been a tough period for the American people. They want to see success. And our objective is to put a plan in place that achieves that success.

Umm...shouldn't said plan have been in place before we went to war?? I know, having a plan before you act (especially when your actions are guaranteed to result in thousands of deaths) is a difficult concept for a mental toddler like Bush to grasp.

I'm often asked about public opinion. Of course, I want public opinion to support the efforts.

So, not only is Pretzeldent Ass-hat completely out of touch with reality, he's (once again) gotten the basic concept of our government completely wrong. The system isn't meant for public opinion to support the efforts of the president. The president, as an ELECTED official, is beholden to the will of the people; i.e. the president's responsibility is to enact policies which reflect public opinion. This is OUR country, not his. [1>

"...I also understand the consequences of failure."

No, to understand the consequenses of failure, one must first be held accountable for failure; something that, in spite of his vast and intimate experience with failure, no one has ever done. If anyone were ever to take the silver spoon from his mouth and shove it up his ass, he might begin to understand the consequences of failure. But, in Bush-zarro world, failure is success and is rewarded accordingly.

[1>In an ideal America. In real America, Bush is actually only responsible to his corporate and big-monied handlers, in which case, he's right to continue his bloody crusade: it's what the military-industrial complex has paid him to do. And it's what his End-times Christian base is rooting for.

Orwellian Shock 'n' Awe

2006-12-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

Every day I think things can't get any more Orwellian, and every day they do. If hunger wasn't such a serious issue, the Orwellian spin BushCo has put on it would be damned hysterical.

Smile, darn ya, smile!

No one's "hungry" anymore, because the USDA can't, apparently, figure out what it means to be "hungry". People now live in "food-insecure households" or have "very low levels of food-security". "Food-insecure" being -- one must assume -- readily more measurable than "hungry".

The Bush maladmin has literally become a parody of itself. The infuriating thing is: this is no joke. And they're getting away with it.

Fucking Ass-wads

2006-11-28T12:07:00.000-08:00

Colorado Homeowner to be Fined for Peace Sign Wreath

According to Bob Kearns, the association's president, three or four residents have complained and at least one believes Jensen's decoration is a symbol of Satan.

"The peace sign has a lot of negativity associated with it. It's also an anti-Christ sign. That's how it started," said Kearns.

The peace sign is a symbol of Satan and an anti-Christ sign?? Well, then logically, if a peace sign is representative of Satan, which is counter to Christianity, it would follow that the cross -- and all symbols of Christianity -- is a symbol counter to peace. In other words, Christianity equals war. Hyperbolic as that statement is (and it's intended to be so), it's actually quite true.

Musings

2006-11-17T16:41:00.000-08:00

Musing #1: A parodist's job is to exaggerate reality. She starts with something realistic and pushes it to an extreme, such that it becomes a hilarious caricature of its inspiration. This is what makes parody funny. So, I have this to say regarding the "leadership" team of the program on which I work: either it is composed of clowns and comedians pulling off a grand prank, or it is merely trying to beat the comedians to the punch to take the wind out of their sails. Case in point: the 50-foot "buffer zone", a.k.a. "the human shield" in which a buffer zone of U.S. employees is required to occupy the desks between program management and nefarious, swarthy foreign nationals, a.k.a. the bulk of the on-site workforce on this program.

Musing #2: The stated goal of the U.S. with regard to countries like N. Korea, Iraq and Iran is to prevent them from acquiring nuclear weapons. Presumably, because those countries haven't the level of responsibility possessed by the U.S. which is required to have but not use said weapons. So…the U.S. will go to war to stop nuclear weapons from being acquired and/or used. And, as in the war of terror on Iraq, the U.S. stated that if Iraq threatened the use of WMDs, the U.S. would respond in kind. Further, the legality/morality of the use of "bunker busting mini nukes", even without provocation, was seriously considered. That is to say that the U.S. will use nuclear weapons in order to prevent the use of nuclear weapons.

Creationist Clowns (they all are)

2006-11-16T11:37:00.000-08:00

So what's with all the dinosaurs?: A sneak peek at a Creationist *ahem* "museum".

The museum's research scientist, Dr Jason Lisle, has a PhD in astrophysics from the University of Colorado at Boulder. He realised he was a Christian while he was an undergraduate, but didn't spread it around: "People get very emotional about the issue. I don't believe we should ever be obnoxious about our faith. I just kept quiet."

And wouldn't it be nice if all the bonk jobs would just please shut the hell up and keep their delusion to themselves.

And how did he pass the exams? "I never lied, but if I was asked a question about the age of the universe, I answered from my knowledge of the topic, not my beliefs."

Of course, the irony of his own statement was completely lost on him. He answered from his knowledge. KNOWLEDGE! Knowledge that is diametrically opposed to his BELIEFS. And somehow, this psychotic duality hasn't caused his brain to lobotomize itself.

Now, we are taken to meet Ken Ham, the museum's director and its inspiration. Ham is an Australian, a former science teacher - though not, he is at pains to say, a scientist - and he has been working on the project for much of the past 20 years since moving to the US. "You'd never find something like this in Australia," he says. "If you want to get the message out, it has to be here."

That's right. You go to where your audience is. And this country is nothing if not flush with morons.

He (Ham)lectures all over the world and spent a month in Britain earlier in the summer spreading the message to the faithful in parish halls from Cornwall to Scotland. "We want to try to convince people using observational science," he says.

"Observational science"? Really? And he wasn't laughed out of the country? What the fuck is "observational science"? All science is based on observation. That's what makes using the words "observational" and "science" in the same sentence as "creationism" so ridiculous. Does Ham mean to imply that he observed "creation" as it unfolded?? Or just that he "observes" the words printed on the pages of a book called the Bible, so that's good enough.

"It's done very gently but forthrightly. We give both sides, which is more than the Science Museum in London does."

First off, I doubt the Creation "museum" is giving the scientific side of anything. And second, I'm sure that even the board of the Science Museum in London would agree that the museum is quite one-sided...being that it's a science museum and deals in facts and reality rather than the ludicrous and demonstrably false. Oh, those damned scientists. Always biasing everything toward reality!

On the shelf behind Ham's desk lie several surprising books, including Richard Dawkins' latest. "I've skipped through it. (Translation: Ham is illiterate). The thing is, Dawkins does not have infinite knowledge or understanding himself. (And Ham does??!) He's got a position, too, it's just a different one from ours. (Yeah, and happens to be based in reality as opposed to a 2000 year old mental virus). The Bible makes sense and is overwhelmingly confirmed by observable science. It does not confirm the belief in evolution."

The Bible "makes sense"?? It's "overwhelmingly confirmed by observable science"?? Yeah, I suppose if your brain is made of swiss cheese.

But if you believe in the Bible, why do you need to seek scientific credibility, and why are Creationists so reluctant to put their theories to peer review, I ask?

"I would give the same answer as Dawkins. He believes there is no God and nothing you could say would convince him otherwise. (Because everything Creationists say about it is mental diarrhea.) You are dealing with an origins issue. If you don't have the information, you cannot be sure. (Doesn't seem to stop Creationists). Nothing contradicts the Bible's account of the origins."

Except, of course, for archeology, antrhopology, biology; basically every branch of modern science.

Cons: Backed into a Corner and Getting Scary

2006-11-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

Conservatives sift through ashes of Tuesday's overwhelming electoral defeat

Sen. Dr. Mr. Tom Coburn (R-OK): "The overriding theme of this election, however, is that voters are more interested in changing the culture in Washington (true) than changing course in Washington, D.C. (Huh? Change culture but not course? You must have to be a brainless Repugnant to understand what the hell he's babbling about). This election was not a rejection of conservative principles per se, but a rejection of corrupt, complacent and incompetent government."

If Republicans are Conservatives and Conservatives operate based on conservative principles then wouldn't a wholesale rejection of Republicans (i.e. corrupt, complacenet, incompetent government) mean, at least in part, a rejection of conservative principles...per se?

In the November 8 edition of Tony Perkins' Washington Update, Perkins, the head of the Family Research Council, the leading "family values" lobbying group wrote: "As Pelosi prepares to lead the House, it will be painfully obvious that the values of her hometown, San Francisco, are not the values of Middle America. (And those among us with functioning brains are thankful for that!) Make no mistake. The battle in which we are set to engage will be the biggest one we have faced for our core beliefs. The assault against abstinence, marriage, life, good judges, and cloning may be the fiercest yet. As speaker, Rep. Pelosi and the old guard of extremists will pounce on the opportunities that their new committee chairmanships will afford them."

"Also, she rapes puppies with the crucifix, drinks blood, encourages promiscuous homosexuality, wants everyone to get divorced and wears the Stars 'n' Strips as a diaper", he went on to say as the press lost interest in his lunacy and quit quoting him. "Wait", he screamed at a waning press corps, "she's a terrorist!"

Gary Bauer: "I think our politics, while it might be hard to believe, are going to get even nastier over these next two years."

There you have it. Straight from the horse's ass. If you thought the neo-cons were disgusting, underhanded, self-righteous hypocrites who would tell the brashest of lies and engage in the most illegal of tactics before, it's about to get worse.

And, he warned, Americans should be prepared for a strong liberal agenda in the House.

One can only hope.

"You just can't get around the fact that the National Democratic Party is vehemently committed to abortion on demand and is in alignment with all of the demands of the radical gay rights movement," Bauer maintained. (Actually, you can get around those "facts"...with the truth. "Vehemently committed to abortion on demand"? "The demands of the radical gay rights movement"? Try a little dose of reality now and again, fucking ass-hat). "So, even as some of the people being elected are conservative Democrats, when they get here, they will be required -- they'll be forced -- to go along with leaders like Nancy Pelosi."

"And we can't stress adamantly enough that she rapes puppies with the crucifix, drinks blood, encourages promiscuous homosexuality, wants everyone to get divorced and wears the Stars 'n' Strips as a diaper", he said. Okay, he didn't actually say that. But he might as well have. I mean, are these guys fucking insane or what?

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

2006-11-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

Miracle seeker in Jesus plummet

A man who climbed a 45-foot tall statue of Jesus to pray for a miracle cure saw his plan backfire slightly, when he fell off, breaking several bones.

Farmer Alipio Acosta climbed up the statue of Jesus in Ocaca, Columbia in front of a crowd of onlookers – and TV cameras – in an attempt to be cured of his epilepsy. Once at the top of the statue, he prayed for a few moments, then started to climb back down.

Unfortunately, he hadn't planned his descent route terribly well. To add to the problems, it had been raining, which made Jesus quite slippery.

As he tried to negotiate his way around Jesus' outstretched arm, Acosta dangled for a moment, before losing his grip, falling, bouncing off the plinth and then falling some more.

On the plus side, he survived. Which is a miracle of sorts.

He was taken to hospital, where he was diagnosed with multiple fractures to his wrist, hip and skull.

This is not the first time Acosta has climbed up the Cristo Ray statue – he did the same thing two years ago. On that occasion, he wasn't cured of his epilepsy, but he didn't fall 45 feet either, making the venture a sort of 0 – 0 win.

Ass-hat Pontiff

2006-10-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

Mouthy guy in funny hat still pissed off with secularists

Benedict said the West was witnessing "a new wave of Enlightenment and secularism, in which only that which can be tested and calculated is considered rationally valid, and in which individual freedom is erected as a fundamental value to which everything else is subordinated.

Yeah, how terrible it is that humanity is enlightened. Oh, the horror of knowledge! (Actually, it probably is pretty scary to a system predicated on ignorance and superstition).

So I suppose Joey Ratz would like those things which are irrational (like, say, dogmatic belief in a literal Bible?) to be considered rationally valid. Yeah, that ought to work. Let's just redefine rationality and render the concept completely meaningless.

And he, apparently, also prefers that there be no individual freedom. Given the structure of Catholicism, I guess that makes sense.

This mean Western culture "is unable to undertake a real dialogue with other cultures in which the religious dimension is strongly present.

For instance? Americans and Iraqis; both being cultures in which "the religious dimension is strongly present". Yes, we can see how famously they're getting along. Or, how about Israel and Palestine? Another good example of two cultures's steeped in religion undertaking real dialogue. Do people seriously find this guy infallible and worthy of reverence? He's a damned moron.

Don't Touch It!

2006-10-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

Don't Masturbate During Ramadan

Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid, Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.

"Deliberate" masturbation; as opposed to accidentally "Ingratiating the Imam"?

"If he do (sic) not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a harām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting," the Iranian leader said, posting the reply on his website.

Ummm...oh-kay? So, if you're whackin' it, but you don't know you're whackin' it and you don't finish, all is well. Or, if you're doing it and you know you're doing it, and you do "finish" but you didn't know about the happy ending: still okay in the eyes of your imaginary (and, apparently, bat-shit insane) friend. But, if you masturbate on purpose (as if you could do it on accident), and you know that you usually (usually?) ejaculate, and you actually do ejaculate, then you've ruined your fast. Which is a practice of refraining from eating, right? Well, and apparently, masturbating. Which might explain why they call it a "fast"...because you want it to go quickly so you can get back to all the masturbating you normally do, be it on purpose or accidentally, whether you finish or not, and whether or not you know what you're doing and the natural conclusive results of what you do or don't know you're doing on purpose or accidentally.

Another reader asked: "Once in the holy month of Ramadan, I forgot to brush my teeth, and some tiny bits of food remained in my mouth. I swallowed the bits unintentionally. Do I have to perform the qaḍa (repent) for that day's fast?"

To which the Khameini should've responded by holding his head in his hands and moaning, "Oh, crap, you morons, that's not the point!" But, instead he actually answered the insanely tedious question with an even more tedious answer: "If you did not know that some bits of food remained between the teeth, or you did not know that they would reach the throat (still a bit in the dark ages, are we?), and they were swallowed unknowingly and unintentionally, then you are not liable to make (repent) of the fast", thereby proving how ridiculous the whole practice is.

The Iranian leader also told readers they were allowed to "to drink water while standing" at nights.

But only while hopping on one foot and patting yourself on the head, he should've gone on to clarify. Because, really, why stop at "you can only drink water at night if you're standing"? Come on. You've got these people hanging on your every word and obeying your every whim. At least get them to do something entertaining. Maybe tell them they have to drink from the back of the glass!

So, to all those who say that religion (in this case, Islam) isn't perfectly logical and rational...um, yeah, you've pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Pontificating Pontiff

2006-09-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

Pontiff Admonishes Catholics Not to Lose Their Souls to Science

An overreliance on science has made too many Catholics deaf to the teachings of the church, the pope said in a homily that scolded Western European societies for an increasingly secular focus. Faith is needed to combat diseases such as AIDS, he said.

Science is making Catholics deaf to the lies of the church? Well, that is what tends to happen when people become educated. Faith isn't a necessary weapon in the fight against AIDS. It wasn't faith that discovered AIDS. Nor was it faith that discovered ways to prevent the spread of AIDS (because, let's face it, having faith that people will stop having sex is just silly). And faith certainly hasn't been key to combating AIDS; especially in developing countries in Africa where the papacy has resisted allowing the use of condoms, which are, in fact, effective in preventing the spread of AIDS. Technology may not be able to defeat AIDS alone, but technology in tandem with education can. Sadly, for the Pope, faith will play no role in defeating AIDS.

He lamented cynics who considered "mockery of the sacred to be an exercise of freedom."

One man's sacred is another man's punchline. And, like it or not, poking fun at a ludicrous fairy tale is not only an exercise in freedom, but really ought to be mandated.

"What is said about God strikes us as pre-scientific, no longer suited to our age."

Wait a minute! An antiquated superstition treated as an antiquated superstition. What is the world coming to?!

"Social issues and the Gospel are inseparable," the pope said. "When we bring people only knowledge, ability, technical competence and tools, we bring them too little.

The Church brings knowledge?? Since when?

"People in Africa and Asia admire our scientific and technical prowess, but at the same time they are frightened by a form of rationality which totally excludes God from man's vision."

What friggin' planet does this guy live on? The church has "scientific and technical prowess"?? Compared to whom? This is the organization that punished Capurnicus for daring to reveal the scientific and technical truth that the Earth isn't the center of the universe, merely because it went against the church's ego-centricity.

And this nonsense about people in Africa and Asia being frightened by rationality?? I believe psychologists call that "projecting".

"The world needs God. (No it doesn't). We need God. (Only if you're foolish and feeble-minded). But what God? (Great question!)" the pope asked. One of "healing goodness," he said, one who is loving, merciful and whose "vengeance is...a no to violence."

A god whose vengeance is a no to violence?? That doesn't even make any sense. Who's writing this guy's speeches, George Duh'byuh?

Later Sunday, at a ceremony in the Munich cathedral where Cardinal Ratzinger was archbishop in the late 1970s, the pope stressed the accessibility of God.

"He has pitched his tent among us," he said.

Hmm...so that priest in the corner, the one with his hand on an altar-boy and a "tentpole" in his robes, that's god in there?

Instead of the harangues that some expected from the dogmatic conservative, the pope has attempted to offer what he called in a recent television interview the "positive options" of Christianity.

It has taken some by surprise.

Father Notker Wolf, abbot primate of the Benedictine Confederation who ran the St. Ottilien monastery near Munich for 23 years, has known Ratzinger for years and was skeptical when he was elected pope. But Wolf said Benedict had become more pastoral and was promoting a more forgiving image of God.

"For us, God has always been the bookkeeper, writing down all of our sins," Wolf said Sunday, a short distance from where the pope presided over Mass.

"This is the surprise about the pope. He has taken away the fear. He speaks of a God who loves, liberates and does not create fear."

So, aside from that weirdness about "abbot primate" (head monkey at an all-dudes fantasy camp?), how disturbing is it that even just one church leader is surprised that the Pope isn't promoting an angry, vengeful, fearsome god. This is quite the deity these self-loathing masochists have imagined, no?

Really Lame Christians

2006-08-10T06:06:00.000-07:00

Protesters: Movie (Talledega Nights) is blasphemous

Some Christian moviegoers didn’t get what they were expecting when they watched the comedy “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” Friday night.

Were they expecting Ferrell to be whipped bloody and then crucified?

“It’s not at all what we were expecting,” said Randall Bost, pastor of Faith Bible Church in Caddo Mills, who went to the movie with a group of fellow church members. “About 15-20 minutes into it there was a lot of blasphemy. They were making fun of Jesus Christ.”

Oh, for shame! Making fun of an invisible friend?? They wouldn't dare!!

Did these shining examples of reasoned human beings think they were going to see a documentary?? It's a comedy, you morons! Of course they were going to make fun, mainly of the NASCAR culture, which -- I think it's safe to say -- is about 100% Christian.

“If we knew what was in it, we wouldn’t have watched,” he said, adding that the theater promptly refunded the tickets that the offended Christians had bought.

What??! Man, I wish I managed that theater. I'd have told 'em to fuck off.

Not content to simply leave the theater, Bost said the people who walked out wanted to warn other (lemmings) not to watch the movie.

Of course...being Christians, they're never content to merely believe what they do and leave the rest of the world alone. The world must hear them shout their pabulum from the mountaintops.

“We wanted to provide a service to Christian people so they wouldn’t waste their time and money seeing a mockery of what we believe in (that, of course, being a mockery of logic and reality),” he said, adding that he thinks the comedy is more offensive than than other controversial films like “The Passion of the Christ,” “The Da Vinci Code” and even the gay cowboy movie “Brokeback Mountain.”

Sex, Violence, and the Word of God

2006-07-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

Lawmakers Decry Christian Film's PG Rating

"This incident raises the disquieting possibility that the MPAA considers exposure to Christian themes more dangerous for children than exposure to gratuitous sex and violence," Blunt said in a letter to MPAA Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Dan Glickman.

Surely, you can imagine the look on my face when I read that quote; head cocked to one side, eyes blinking, staring in disbelief at the screen while trying my best to make some sense of what could possibly be different about the sex and ultra-violence in the Bible -- to which children are forcibly exposed from before they're even old enough to walk and talk -- and anything that Hollywood has managed to produce. And I still can't come up with any logical reasoning behind that quote. Religious Conservatives are brainless ass-hats incapable of intelligent behavior or thought. Not that they don't sometimes do something that appears intelligent. It happens. But not by design. Any connection between intelligence and religious conservatism is purely coincidental.

Update: I just realized that, to Religious Conservatives, apparently PG movies contain gratuitous sex and violence. More proof of the ridiculous lengths to which they'll go, just for the opportunity to grandstand in the name of the ultimate non-sequitur, Christian morality.

Oh The Hypocrisy

2006-05-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

Greek Gods Prepare for Comeback

But Greece's powerful Orthodox Church takes a less charitable view (of Greek pantheism), accusing the worshippers of idolatry and "poisonous New Age practices".

Excuse me, new age practices?? The pantheon of Greek gods was around long before Christianity.

Father Eustathios Kollas, who presides over the community of Greek priests, said: "They are a handful of miserable resuscitators of a degenerate dead religion who wish to return to the monstrous dark delusions of the past."

That's some pretty harsh criticism coming from the progeny of an equally degenerate, if not equally dead, religion which would have us all return to the delusions of the past.

Religious Diversity a Positive Force...Oh, and Kill the Evil Atheists!!

2006-05-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

For authors, a surprise: U.S. upbeat on diversity, but not on atheists

I'm puzzled by the definition of "diversity", as understood by those polled, for "diversity" to be applauded but atheists demonized. How can one ebrace diversity as a positive force in the country and, at the same time, marginalize a minority group? Maybe the poll should've been prefaced with a "definition of terms".

For many atheists, morality is based on law, contracts and understandings of human decency and mutual dependence (something sorely lacking among religious zealots) rather than religious codes or beliefs. Yet most Americans can't imagine this, in part because most Americans don't actually know any self-avowed atheists.

Also, in part, because, well, so many Americans are even less intelligent than the Pretzeldent. Talk about something hard to imagine! Actually, no...it doesn't take much imagination at all, the reality of it is just really hard to cope with.

Bush' Trojan Christ

2006-05-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Bush's Trojan Christ

It used to be that Christians were known to all by their good deeds, but after almost four decades of the GOP's cleaving the populace into warring sects to be manipulated at the polls, 'being Christian' is no longer defined by doing good deeds, it's defined by an arrogant mission to tell others how they must live---who they can marry, who they can adopt, what they can say in public, what they must teach in schools---all the way down to what kind of medicine they should have access to.

Sounds vaguely like some people to whom I'm related. Now, who could it be?

But 'The Great Awakening' now brings us faith-based leaders promoting torture and war, who lie to us on a daily basis, and violate our constitutionally guaranteed rights. The 'national debate' about values is reduced to quippy bumper stickers like 'It's Okay To Pray' or 'One Man + One Woman = Marriage.' Our national conversation on ethics, morality, and faith has become a kind of WWF 'Religious Smackdown.'

Is it a coincidence that our most pro-faith president is also our biggest law-breaking president, presiding over our most scandalized administration in history? You tell me.

Is it coincidence that our pro-faith vice president has a gay daughter he'd prevent from adopting a child or marrying her lover, a great Christian whose wife converts from writing lesbian romance novels to ethics primers for kids in the blink of a presidential campaign, a soldier of Christ who tells a senator on the Senate floor to go fuck himself? You tell me.

We have two million people incarcerated in federal prisons. If we're to believe the polls the Pat Robertsons and Bill O'Reillys constantly throw at us that 89% of our country are practicing Christians, that means our federal prisons are stuffed to the breaking point with about 1.8 million Bible-thumpers. Hmmm.

How come when we talk about religion in the great national debate, it's never fact s like these we discuss, instead of arguing over posting the Ten Commandments in City Hall?

What about Lynddie England, described as rarely leaving her barracks in Iraq except to go to church--and of course torture naked Iraqis by forcing them to simulate anal sex for snapshots taken by the father of her illegitimate child. If that 89% is correct, wouldn't that mean that the majority of Lynddie's co-torturers were, you know, Christians? When are we having that faith-based discussion?

And poor Clay Aiken, touting his Christianity to the blind, er, I mean, fans of American Idol, rumored to be caught in a gay relationship and seeking the love that dare not speak it's name on the Web, all the while recording an album of ---you guessed it---Christian songs. It's been reported some fans are so mad they want to sue RCA for false advertising. Why aren't we hearing any talk about the gullibility of a Christian audience in our national debate? Why is this kind of intelligent discussion avoided in favor of finger pointing and sneering? If Aiken were gay, his claim of devout Christianity gave him the power to fool--or at least encourage denial in--millions. Shouldn't we look into that power?

And what about the Duke lacrosse team? The entire debate is whether or not a rape occurred, not what were a room full of Christian boys from 'good homes' (two of them educated by Jesuits) doing ordering strippers to entertain them while threatening sodomy with a broomstick and taunting black women with racist jibes about their cotton-picking slave grandparents? Why don't we discuss Christianity in that context?

And of course there's Tom Delay, the great born-again purveyor of moral rectitude, the man with his hand in so many tills even Texas republicans had to cut him loose. The President salutes him as a great patriot who 'served his country well' and the Rove-minions repeat ad nauseum, 'the Dems don't have their poster-boy for corruption to kick around anymore.' What does that mean, exactly? Did he do it, or not? If he's innocent, then how could he possibly be a poster-boy for corruption? And if he's guilty, why is the president saluting his patriotism? And if he's a thief and a liar, what are we to think of his relentless touting of Christian values? Doesn't that mean he's a hypocrite, and that Christian values, in a political sense, are meaningless?

...given the religious makeup of our populace, pedophiles, thieves, liars, hypocrites and torturers in America are more likely to be Christians than Jews, Buddhists, Muslims--or atheists. It's simple math.

All perfectly logical. Yet I somehow feel it would be completely wasted on the Reich.

Presi-DUH!-nt Know How Make Go-juice

2006-04-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

Anybody see the clip of Bush on The Daily Show two nights ago speaking to the Renewable Fuels Association? Ignoring the irony of an oil baron speaking to an alternative fuels consortium, I almost jumped off the couch screaming at the moron as he smirked and then paused to emphasize that gasoline is a product of oil.

Take a moment to let that sink in....

Bush...pointed out to a panel of energy experts...that gasoline...comes from oil.

Well…DUH!!! Does he think that an association of energy experts needs him to clear up that big mystery for them? Does he think anyone in the world with two brain cells to rub together would need that pointed out?? Instead of a real President proposing plans to fix our energy crisis (better still, a President who, along with his best buds, didn't CAUSE the energy crisis), we get a dundering Pretzeldent who thinks time needs to be spent pointing out to energy experts that gas comes from oil. If he thinks that's pertinent information to share with the Renewable Fuels Association, it's no wonder every one of his oil compaines either went tits up or was taken over. In fact, maybe the reason his companies did so poorly is because he's just now figuring this out!

Seriously. It's getting to be too much. It was funny with Dan Quayle. He was harmless and entertaining. "Potatoe". It was funny. We all had a good laugh and nobody died, no sovereign nations were invaded, nobody tortured and killed, and you didn't need to mortgage the house to buy enough gas to get yourself to and from work. It was good to have Quayle around to laugh at. But Bush…Jesus Christ, there are kindergarteners more intelligent and capable of leading than he is. How did he get to where he is? (It's rhetorical...I know it's because of family connections and not because he's qualified...hell, he's not even qualified to wander around in public unattended). Shouldn't he be one of the people lucky just to have survived the winter, not being able to afford the gas bill? Shouldn't he be stranded somewhere in the middle of the Bible Belt because he couldn't afford to fill up the tank and thought a buck-fiddy could get him home? Is anyone else's spine cringing over the fact that Bush is so stupid, and was so proud of knowing that gas comes from oil, that he was giddy with the pleasure of sharing his knowledge on national television?

Right Wing Hijacks Right Wing??

2006-04-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

You know what (also) irritates me? When anyone says that Republicans or neocons or right-wing extremists are hi-jacking Christianity, or using it as a cover to push an extremist agenda. No, this isn't going to be a defense of a "pure and good" Christian ideology, taken advantage of by the Right Wing. Christianity -- except in it's most tempered, benign and, thereby, useless form -- is a right-wing extremist agenda! To wit, does James Dobson want women to be able to choose for themselves to have control over their own health? Does Jerry Falwell want equal rights for homosexuals? Does Pat Robertson want all religious views treated with equal weight and validity? Fuck no. Christianity isn't being used or manipulated, it is what it is: a point of view too often left unchecked to be as dangerous and extreme as it pleases, especially when allowed into government institutions.

And why do we treat religious belief with such kid gloves? Why does an intellectually and morally bankrupt psychotic belief get a pass from the reality-based community so long as it's cloaked in the revered robe of "faith"? What's so sacred about faith, anyway? It's just another way of saying, "I don't know what's real and I'm too lazy/stupid to try to overcome my ignorance so I'm going to make some wild-assed shit up, and, by the way, you can't challenge it because, no matter how ludicrous my explanation of things I don't understand, it's 'holy' ". Of course, I'm glossing over the fact that a lot of the wild-assed shit they made up coincidentally allows for the control and manipulation of the masses. How convenient. In any case, shouldn't right-wing Christians all be in either prison or psych wards for the way they treat women, people of color, non-heterosexuals, and those of differing -- and especially no -- religious belief? Speaking of women and ethnic/sexual minorities, how can any of them belong to a group as degrading to them as Christianity? Why would women support a belief structure that demeans and marginalizes them? Take my dad's sister. Please. (Old joke). No, take her for example. She's a militant feminist Christian. I know, right? That's like being a militant black Klansman.

Because secular humanist philosophies engender as much -- arguably more -- compassionate, moral behavior, I think it's time we stopped allowing Christianity and every other self-righteous, bigoted faith a preferential place in society. In fact, if it was up to me, they'd have no place at all.

What's Good for the Goose...

2006-04-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

Gospel of Judas unvieled

Already, some scholars are saying that this Gospel sheds new light on the historical relationship between Jesus and Judas. They find strands of secret Jewish mysticism running through the beliefs expressed by some branches of early Christianity.
But others ("mainstream" Christianity?) say the text is merely one more scripture produced by a marginalized Christian cult of Gnostics, who lived so many years after Jesus' day that they could not possibly produce anything accurate about his life.

As opposed to the authors of the cannonized gospels? Let's see...when did the supposed authors of the books of the New Testament live and write? If memory serves, the earliest of the Big 4 was written around 70 CE (and that's generous) which would be a full generation after Jesus' supposed crucifixion. (Or is it crucifiction!) Yes, not ever having met the guy, they clearly produced an accurate account of Jesus' life.

Well, at least they're finally understanding some of the rationale for a fallible Bible. Now, if they'd only apply their new-found grasp of logic to their own traditions.

2006-03-28T11:39:00.000-08:00

War on Christians Conference Opens Today; Conference to Include a Values Voter Presidential Preference Poll

No, I'm pretty sure it's not a joke. All Fools' Day isn't until Saturday. (Hey...doesn't All Fools' Day really fall on a Sunday? And not just once a year, but every Sunday? In any case...) Apparently, the conference will include a "Values Voter" presidential preference poll. So, umm...anyone not feeling a false sense of persecution apparently has no values. Neat!

So, this "war", these "assaults" on Christians...there's not been much (any) bloodshed. I hope the Pretzeldent attends...and learns something about waging war on an abstract concept (terror, for instance) without shedding blood.

Panel discussions will include: "Christian Persecution:

...A Primer in the Delusional Martyr Complex"

"Jews Confront The War On Christians:

...Damned Right We Killed Him!"

"Hollywood:

...No One's Allowed to Talk About Us Except Mel 'Bloodlust' Gibson"

"The Judiciary: Overruling God"

I totally didn't even make that one up! No, seriously! They honestly think that they're god is so weak and defenseless that he can simply be overruled by mortals! I don't know why they follow this guy; or pray to him for help. He can't even help himself!

And the final panel discussion listed is:

"Taking Our Faith To The Ballot Box."

Judging (oops, I mean Judicial Activising) from past elections, I suggest they try taking a sentient person whose life and views are based more in reality to hold their hand and tell them how to vote. Being the giving, caring guy that I am, I'll volunteer to be that person.

Keynote Speakers include such Values Vote leaders as Phyllis Schlafly, Vision America President Rick Scarborough, Gary Bauer, Alan Keyes, Janet Folger, Congressman Tom DeLay, Janet Parshall, Sen. John Cornyn and Sen. Sam Brownback.

Oh, Jesus.

Scarborough continued: "The Republican Party often takes the Values Vote for granted. They court us as elections approach and forget us as soon as they're over. And we fall into line. Well, I'm here to tell you that those days are rapidly drawing to a close."

Really??! So the Moron -- err, "Values" -- Vote is going to stop voting Republican? Oh please oh please oh please oh please!

When Even Bubble-heads "Get it"

2006-03-16T11:38:00.000-08:00

Jessica Simpson Snubs Bush

Oh, SNAP! No bootie call for you, Georgie-boy!

Man...how bad must the Pretzeldent's compassion-rating be that even someone as dirt-fuck-dumb as Jessica Simpson knows better than to rub elbows with him.

I bet Britney "support the prez, no matter what" Spears would still dirty her knees for George.

Kindergarten Pretzeldent

2006-03-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

Bush's Gonzo Government

Mr. Naha does a fantastic job of commenting on Bush's a-cerebral musings, so the above is a great read. In it, I found this quote from der Pretzeldent:

“My job is a job where I make a lot of decisions. And I decide big things and little things. And there are certain principles to decision making. You make decisions — you know, you have to make a lot of decisions. And you don’t put your finger in the air to figure out how to make a decision. (NOTE: Apparently, you sit on said finger.) And neither should the President of the United States. And you have to know what you believe."

Now...does that strike you as the oration of a man qualified -- even in the slightest -- to serve as president of any country? Because, to me, it sounds more like a summary on a made-up job given by the president of 2006's Kindergarten class. Either that or a 14-year old stoner absolutely winging a book report, the material for which he never even saw. I mean, really...wouldn't it be just grand if Bush had a second brain cell to rub against the first and possibly come up with some spark of cognitive thinking?

"My job is a job where I make a lot of decisions...And you have to know what you believe." What...the...fuck?? Were Terri Shaivo alive, I'm afraid that Bush's speechificating would insult even her intelligence! Upon hearing such diahhrea of the mind, I think she'd roll over and blink twice for, "show some mercy and kill me now, you heartless bastards!"

A(nother) Brainless Christian

2006-02-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

Their Own Version of a Big Bang

A former high-school biology teacher, Ham travels the nation [brainwashing] children as young as 5 to challenge science [on the basis of nothing more than, "I wasn't there, I didn't see it, my book-of-lies-my-pastor-told-me doesn't mention it, lalalalalalalalalaaaaa..."]. He doesn't engage in the political and legal fights that have erupted over the teaching of evolution...

...because he's an intellectual flea who hasn't a rational basis at all for his views and would be cut down in debate by anyone even slightly aware of reality and with more than a few synapses firing.
He urges students to offer creationist critiques of their textbooks, parents to take on science museum docents, professionals to raise the subject with colleagues.
To a burst of applause, Ham exhorted: "Get out and change the world!"

"Change the world"?? That's about as ironic a thing as can possibly be said by a person who believes that the universe was created in it's current (and final) form about 6,000 years ago and hasn't changed since.
Several hundred independent speakers promote biblical creation at churches, colleges, private schools, Rotary clubs. They lead tours to the Grand Canyon or the local museum to study the world through a creationist lens.

Or, more commonly known in the real world as a "blindfold".
When pastors dismiss the creation account as a fable, (Ham) says, they give their flock license to disregard the Bible's moral teachings as well.

After all, they have bought into the whole Christian myth, so they probably aren't mentally coherent enough to realize that just because the figurative tales in the Bible aren't literal, the moral fabric of society isn't going to unravel.

Veep Shoots Lawyer

2006-02-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

In the Line of Fire - Cheney shoots Republican millionaire during quail hunt.
"This is something that happens from time to time," she said. "You know, I've been peppered pretty well myself."

"Peppered"?? He got shot! It's nauseating that 1) this happens "from time to time" and is treated so cavalierly, and 2) that the act has been ascribed such an inocuous phrase as "peppered".
Shooting a Republican Party supporter, it seems, can have an upside.
Mr Cheney visited Mr Whittington in hospital before flying to Washington.

The upside was that the victim got a visit from Satan, I mean, Cheney? Hell, he's one of the last people I want to see, shot or otherwise! Then again, I'm not a Reich Wing sycophant.
Mary Matalin, an adviser to the Vice-President, said he felt "bad, obviously".
"On the other hand, he was not careless or incautious or violated any of the rules," she said. "He didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to do."

So, umm...you're supposed to shoot other members of your hunting party??

Religious Fanatics Really Need Better Hobbies

2006-02-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

Storm grows over Mohammad cartoons

Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan was quoted as saying the cartoons -- one depicting the founder of Islam wearing a turban resembling a bomb --showed press freedom should have its limits.
Muslims consider it sacrilegious to produce a likeness of the Prophet Mohammad.
(CNN has chosen to not show the cartoons in respect for... a silly superstition and it's delusional adherents.)
"Any insult to the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) is an insult to more than 1 billion Muslims and an act like this must never be allowed to be repeated," Afghan President Hamid Karzai said in a statement.

Because no one should ever do anything that might offend to those who confuse fantasy with reality??
In continuing protests, Palestinian gunmen shut the European Union office Thursday in Gaza City, writing on the door that the office would remain closed until the Europeans apologize to Muslims, Palestinian security sources told CNN.
Wearing masks, the men -- from Islamic Jihad and the al Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, the armed wing of Fatah -- fired bullets into the air and one of them read demands.
Palestinian officials said the gunmen were threatening to kidnap European workers if the European Union did not apologize.

Clearly, these are rational people who deserve our respect.

Repugs to Poor: Fuck You!

2006-02-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

House Approves Budget Cutbacks of $39.5 Billion

WASHINGTON, Feb. 1 — House Republicans eked out a victory on a $39.5 billion budget-cutting package on Wednesday, with a handful of skittish Republicans switching their votes at the last minute in opposition to reductions in spending on health and education programs.
The vote helped President Bush deliver on his promise to rein in federal spending while underscoring deep anxiety within his party over cutting social welfare programs in an election year.
The measure represents the first major effort by lawmakers since 1997 to cut the growth of so-called entitlement programs, including student loans, crop subsidies and Medicaid...

Is it just me, or doesn't it seem like MUCH greater savings could be achieved if we were to rein in our war-machine? I mean, honestly, the part of the budget that's out of control isn't student loans and farming subsidies. But, nah...let's not fix the problem. Let's take this opportunity to fuck the poor. They don't need healthcare. If they get sick and die, that's just god's way of saying, "you've failed to be significant contributors to the Repuke coffers". And screw higher education. We don't need a more intelligent populus, just more cannon fodder.
The spending bill, which covers a five-year period ending in 2010, will achieve savings of $6.4 billion in Medicare, the health care program for the elderly, through a variety of changes that include higher premiums for all beneficiaries, with steeper increases for the more affluent and a freeze in payments to home health care providers.
In the Medicaid health care program for the poor and disabled, $4.8 billion will be saved in part by increasing co-payments and reducing payments for prescription drugs.
Mr. Bush said that he looked forward to signing the legislation and that the budget proposal he would send to Congress on Monday "will continue to build on the spending restraint we have achieved."

SPENDING RESTRAINT!! Has the Pretzeldent gone completely insane?? What about the Republican's orgiastic war-chest spending?? Jesus with a DU tipped butt-plug! Really, I don't think an administration could do more damage unless every U.S. citizen not pulling down $50k or ore a year was lined up to have their colons perforated by the splintered end of a broom. Here's what the war-profiteer-in-chief actually meant to say: "we continue to build on our mountain of bad Karma by fucking those in this country who most need assistance, while at the same time continuing to murder dark-skinned poor people in the rest of the world and funneling hundreds of billions of dollars to my rich, war-mongering supporters who facilitate the killing".
But Mr. Boehlert, one of three Republicans to vote against a recent tax-cutting bill, said he had become convinced that entitlement programs must be revamped before they gobbled up the entire federal budget.

If by "entitlement programs" he meant the hundreds of billions of dollars Congress has approved to be flushed down the toilet of an illegal and immoral war, then I'm in full agreement. If he actually meant entitlement programs like healthcare, farming, and education subsidies then what fucking planet is he from that he thinks a 200-plus billion dollar a year military budget is in any way at risk of being gobbled up?
But conservatives, who pushed hard within their caucus for the cuts, were delighted. Representative Mike Pence, Republican of Indiana, a leader of a group of House conservatives, called the vote "a step toward restoring public confidence in the fiscal integrity of our national legislature."

...and about a thousand steps away from restoring public confidence that Repugnants give any kind of a crap at all about the American people.

So our moron in chief is pretty proud of cutting $40 billion over five years. It astounds me that he fails to realize that he could save over five times that amount in a single year if he would end the war in Iraq.

BushCo Secretive...Surprise, Surprise!

2006-01-25T05:28:00.000-08:00

White House Declines to Provide Storm Papers
WASHINGTON, Jan. 24 - The Bush administration, citing the confidentiality of executive branch communications, said Tuesday that it did not plan to turn over certain documents about Hurricane Katrina or make senior White House officials available for sworn testimony before two Congressional committees investigating the storm response.

Well color me shocked!
The White House this week also formally notified Representative Richard H. Baker, Republican of Louisiana, that it would not support his legislation creating a federally financed reconstruction program for the state that would bail out homeowners and mortgage lenders.

Not surprisingly, this makes BushCo's earlier dedication to "do what it takes" in the aftermath of Katrina ring a bit hollow.

Dover's ID(iot) Policy Struck Down

2005-12-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

Intelligent design flunks in Pennsylvania

"Woohoo", I'm thinking to myself. "Yay, sanity and reason triumphs!" But it was in the middle of doing the dance of joy in my head that I had a thought. "Hey, I wonder how long until some Right Wing nutjob bandies about their favorite term for a judge who doesn't rule in their favor, 'Judicial Activist'". In case you're wondering, it didn't take long. And it came from an entirely predictable source.

At the Discovery Institute in Seattle (oh how embarrassing for us locals that it's always brought up that DI, pronounced "duhhhh", is based in Seattle) a high-profile research organization dedicated to giving intelligent design some intelligent substance, there was fury at Jones's identification of their mission with that of Dover's religious fundamentalists. John West, associate director of the institute's Center for Science and Culture said the ruling "makes it clear that [Jones] wants his place in history as the judge who issued a definitive decision about intelligent design. This is an activist judge who has delusions of grandeur."

It seems that nutjobs on the right understand what judges are supposed to do about as well as they understand the definition of a scientific theory.

Public School Program and Salvation Army Don't Mix

2005-12-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

School cancels Salvation Army fundraising trip

I think it was the right thing to do. A Christian charity organization shouldn't be trolling public schools for volunteers, promoting state-church entanglements. Niether should a public school be supporting a religious organization via the labor of students who are required to be there. If the children want to volunteer for the Salvation Army, they can certainly do so of their own volition, but it shouldn't be a school-sponsored event.

"What really bothers me is what canceling the field trip does to the kids," he (Salvation Army employee) said. "It says that having a religion is a bad thing, that believing is a bad thing, and that is not the message our country should be sending right now. It should instead be encouraging our kids to volunteer."

Okay, first off…having religion and believing in an imaginary friend in the sky is a bad thing. It promotes nothing but intellectual dwarfism. Second, our "country" should be sending no religious messages at all. And finally, what the hell does a message critical of religion have to do with volunteering for charity work? Not a damn thing. Which gets back to my point that religious belief stunts a persons intellectual capacity.

Chavez principal Howard Fried said there are other ways to instill a charitable spirit in students.
"My feeling is that we can certainly accomplish the same goals by having a service project within an organization that doesn't have a religious affiliation, and I'm hoping that sometime in the future they'll come up with an alternative," Fried said.
Yes, please.

Man Successfully Murdered!

2005-12-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

Marshal kills jet passenger after threat

MIAMI -- An agitated passenger who claimed to have a bomb in his backpack was shot and killed by a federal air marshal Wednesday after he bolted frantically from a jetliner that was boarding for takeoff, officials said. No bomb was found.

Why was he shot if he was running away from the plane?

According to a witness, the passenger ran down the aisle of the Boeing 757, flailing his arms, while his wife tried to explain that he was mentally ill and had not taken his medication.
The shooting death was cited by some congressional leaders and air security experts as the first successful -- if deadly -- example of the government's ramped-up commercial airline security efforts.

Ah, the sweet taste of success! It's "Mission Accomplished"™ for an air marshal who was apparently not trained in any other technique than "shoot first, figure out what the hell is going on later".

But others said that opening fire on passengers who threaten airline travel could lead to even worse consequences for bystanders.
Gee, ya think? But not to worry...we'll just pin complete responsibility for a cop's wild-ass shots into a crowd on the person being shot at, rather than forcing the cop to be responsible. Kind of like in this case where a high-speed chasee (who didn't even know he was being chased) got 30 years for manslaughter after the cop violated department policy and gave chase, only to lose control of his car and run into a tree, killing himself. It'll just be one more part of Bush's "ownership society" wherein the poor are owned by the rich and suspects will own the responsibility for misdeeds on the part of law enforcement.

The passenger, identified as Rigoberto Alpizar...

That's one o' them furrin' names, innit? Based on his funny soundin' name and the darkened-by-the-devil-hisself color of his skin, I'd speckle-ate he prolly was a terra-ist, wouldn't you agree, Cleetus? Beauford? Do we have a con--... a consens--... ya'll agree here?

He (Bauer) said there was no reason to believe there was any connection to terrorists.

That's because your guy just shot a mentally ill person and found no bombs on the plane and it's so obvious that your team fucked up big time (i.e. "no connection to terrorists") that the subject of terrorism should never have even been brought up!! But, it's a handy little tactic, isn't it? Even just a whisper of the word "terrorist" and suddenly people are spooked into line and will forgive any flagrant action in the name anti-terrorism and national security. Consider the following anecdote.

During the 1964 presidential election race, Lyndon B. Johnson suggested that his campaign team air an ad alleging that an opponent had once had sexual relations with a donkey. An advisor pointed out the claim was untrue. "I know it's not true," Johnson replied, "but I want to hear him deny it!"

Plant the seed and the damage is done. Or, in the case of terrorism, mention the word and whether or not the incident has anything whatsoever to do with terrorism your actions are justified. But let me get back to the story at hand.
Federal officials declined to say how many times Alpizar was shot.

That would be "a lot".

Rep. John Mica, R-Fla., chairman of the House transportation subcommittee on aviation, said the shooting proves the expanded marshal program is successful.
"This shows that the program has worked beyond our expectations," Mica said. "This should send a message to a terrorist or anyone else (minorities? the mentally ill?) who is considering disrupting an aircraft with a threat."

And Australia's all, "WTF, mate?"!!!! The murder of an innocent man by armed Feds is evidence of successful security policy?? Only if one's expectations of the program involve the murder of innocents! In which case, two thumbs way up (your ass, Rep. Mica, R-obviously)!
Some security experts questioned whether killing the passenger was justified.
Aviation security consultant Douglas Laird of Laird & Associates said shooting a suspect who claims to be carrying an explosive device could cause a greater threat to passengers if that suspect detonates the bomb after being shot. "It's a terrible call," the former Northwest Airlines security director said.

Good to hear a voice of reason.
But Mica said the marshal acted appropriately. Federal air marshals are not trained to negotiate with suspected terrorists, he said...
Homeland Security spokesman Russ Knocke said in a statement that the marshals "took appropriate action" and that their decision to shoot was "consistent with their (air marshal) training."

And there you have it. They're trained to shoot first, figure out what the hell is going on...well, never, I guess.

Way Out of Touch

2005-11-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

George Bush, Meet Reality

WASHINGTON, D.C.--President Bush’s speech this morning at the Naval Academy is a reflection of his stubborn, narrow-vision approach to governing. More and more, what he says is devoid of reality. To listen to Bush is to enter a dreamworld.
...
Bush's swaggering style reinforces his image and that of the country of being a bully and, worse, a loser.
"America will not run in the face of car bombers and assassins so long as I am your commander-in-chief," says Bush, the man who squirmed his way out of Vietnam duty.
...

In the Wall Street Journal, Lieberman argued, "I am convinced almost all of the progress in Iraq and throughout the Middle East will be lost if those forces are withdrawn faster than the Iraqi military is capable of securing the country."

Yeah, well, Lieberman is also convinced that an imaginary man in the sky commands him to have a piece of his son's penis chopped off at birth, so I'm not putting much stock in what he's convinced of. He's a sadistic moron.

Cheney is to Halliburton as Rummy is to...

2005-11-16T11:41:00.000-08:00

...Gilead!

Okay…so…let's get caught up, here. There is an outbreak of avian flu. Among birds. And people have been infected, too. But, as of yet, the virus can not spread from person to person, only bird to person. So there is really not much reason for panic. Still, panic has ensued. A panic fueled by the Bush maladmin and its department of propoganda -- err, the media. And come to find out, at least one top official in the Bush regime stands to rake in a ton of money if the panic is kept up and the federal government (among others) snaps up the vaccine produced by a company which was formerly headed by, and still pays out to, said top official. Furthermore, said top official (or Rumsfeld…I'm getting tired of typing "said top official") just can't seem to find a person in the world who will advise him to sell his shares, much as it would probably be the right thing to do and much as he appears to really, really (honest!) wants to do so. (By the way, no one will accuse Rummy of insider trading if he sells his stocks and the price continues to rise. The whole point of insider trading is to sell when the shares peak. And it's doubtful that the good fortune of Gilead will end soon, what with so many people continuing to panic about the flu and clamoring for vaccines).

Hmm…somehow I just can't work up any amount of shock or surprise over Rummy's involvement.

From the Archives of the Clueless

2005-10-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

Christian group in UK may seek ban on Qur'an
(Christian Voice) A Protestant evangelical pressure group has warned that it will try to use the government's racial and religious hatred law to prosecute bookshops selling the Qur'an for inciting religious hatred.
Its director, Stephen Green, said the organisation would consider taking out prosecutions against shops selling the Islamic holy book. He told the Guardian: "If the Qur'an is not hate speech, I don't know what is."
How about the Bible!

Not content to be a hypocrite, he goes on to prove his ignorance regarding his very own myth...

"Nowhere in the Bible does it say that unbelievers must be killed."

How about Exodus 22:20? Or Deuteronomy 13:6-10? Or any of a dozen or more other passages, depending on how loosely one interprets their meaning.

Hello, Kettle?...This is the Pot...

2005-09-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Former FEMA Head Blames Others for Hurricane Response Problems

Yes, of course he's going to blame others to try to deflect from his own absolute incompetency. But then there's this little gem:

But Brown also blamed the Department of Homeland Security, and indirectly, the Bush administration, for what he said was FEMA's emaciated state. His agency, he said, has suffered from budget cuts and a shortage of qualified personnel since it was subsumed within the gigantic department.

Qualified personnel? The former head FEMA, whose previous job (which, I'm sure, gave him much needed training and quilification to be the head of FEMA) was head of the International Arabian Horse Assoc., forced out for apparent incompetency of even that position, is bringing up the subject of qualified personnel? Damn this guy's dumb! Might as well have said, "Hey, none of this is my fault. Blame Bush! He's the schmuck who hired my incompetent ass!" Which, incidentally, would be completely true.

More Lunacy Over Mythological Indoctrination in Public Schools

2005-09-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

'Intelligent design' trial begins today in Pennsylvania
"Nearly 2,000 years ago, someone died on a cross for us," said board member William Buckingham, who urged his colleagues to include intelligent design in ninth-grade science classes. "Shouldn't we have the courage to stand up for him?"

First off, it doesn't bode well for the existence of an omniscient, omnipotent "God" so weak that it requires the aid of (as the Reich views people) sinful, sniveling, hell-bound worms. Second, this debate is -- according to the Christian Reich itself -- supposed to be about "equal time" for a "theory" they see as equally valid as evolution. Those of us with firing synapses know better; that it's actually about Christians having the "right" to brainwash all the little children with their own particular brand of fantastical creation mythology. What an unfortunate (for them) slip of the tongue when a member of the clan (or is it Klan?) accidentally reveals their true motivations...to defend Christianity against the perceived onslaught of...well, intelligence.
The statement on intelligent design approved by the Dover school board was read to ninth-grade science students in January and will be read again this year. It reads in part:
"Because Darwin's theory is a theory, it continues to be tested as new evidence is discovered. The theory is not a fact. Gaps in theory exist for which there is no evidence…. Intelligent design is an explanation of the origin of life that differs from Darwin…. With respect to any theory, students are encouraged to keep an open mind."

It's so frustrating to have the word "theory" so abused. There is a monumental difference between a scientific theory and a pulled-straight-from-my-theological-ass mythological theory...which creationism is. And isn't it ironic how the Christian Reich bandies about the phrase "open mind" with regard to creastionism, but when it comes to civil liberties (a.k.a. equal rights for homosexuals and non-Christians) you can practically hear their feeble minds clanking shut.
"This issue is bubbling under the surface all over the country, but the Dover board had the courage of their convictions," said Richard Thompson, chief counsel for the Michigan-based Thomas More Law Center. The center promotes and defends the religious freedoms of Christians, he said...

When asked about the religious freedoms of non-Christians, Thompson shrieked, "death to the infidels!", if only in his empty head.
If all this sounds eerily reminiscent of another case on evolution, it is.
Eighty years ago, the Scopes trial in Dayton, Tenn., tested the legality of a state law banning the teaching of evolution.

That's right...despite eighty years of advancements in every field of science, the Christian Reich refuses to pull its collective head from...uhh, the sand (to put it politely).

"They should be able to teach all kinds of theories in school, and
that's how you learn", said toothless Jeff Raffensburger.

And what, then, of the great Flying Spaghetti Monster (pbuh)? (Hint...the whole premise put forth by the Christian Reich that this is about teaching "all kinds of theories" is patently absurd).

In a landmark 1987 case, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Louisiana could not require schools to balance the teaching of evolution with creationism, a Bible-based view of natural history. That case has become a key issue for plaintiffs, who argue that Buckingham's statements revealed the board's similar religious intentions.
Attorneys for the school board, however, say intelligent design is different from creationism because it does not mention religion. They also note that Buckingham, who has since left the board and moved, has protested that his comments were taken out of context.

If there's one lame-ass defense constantly spouted by religious nutters when their own words prove their idiocy it's, "but I was taken out of context...". Yeah. Right.
"I know there are a lot of people fighting over this, what we should be taught," (Dover High School ninth-grader, Giovanni Herman) said. "But it's all OK with me. In the end, I think I'll make up my own mind."

That's true...he will make up his own mind. But it isn't the public school's place to teach him Christianity's (or any other religion's) version of reality, that's his church's.

Frist -- Devoid of Ethics

2005-09-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

So, not only is he a medical hack (horribly misdiagnosing Terri Shiavo based on a video), but he's a greedy bastard completely devoid of any ethical standards.

Frist sold hospital shares before drop

WASHINGTON - Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, a potential presidential candidate in 2008, sold all his stock in his family's hospital corporation about two weeks before it issued a disappointing earnings report and the price fell nearly 15 percent.
Frist, a surgeon first elected to the Senate in 1994, had been criticized for maintaining the holdings while dealing with legislation affecting the medical industry and managed care. Call (Frist spokeswoman) said the Senate Ethics Committee has found nothing wrong with Frist's holdings in the company in a blind trust.
"To avoid any appearance of a conflict of interest Senator Frist went beyond what ethics requires and sold the stock," Call said. Asked why he had never done so before, she said, "I don't know that he's been worried about it in the past."

Good for him for doing the right thing and divulging himself of his shares in a clear conflict of interest...11 years after the fact and right before the stock tanked.

Of course Frist wasn't worried about holding the stock or the conflict it created in the past! That's because the stock was doing fine. The stock price peaks and then he suddenly has an attack of conscience before the stock tanks? Yeah. Right. And Terri Schiavo was responsive to visual cues.

Linking the Terra'ists to Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

From the NYTimes:

"We look at the destruction caused by Katrina, and our hearts break," (Bush) said. Turning the subject to terrorists, he said: "They're the kind of people who look at Katrina and wish they had caused it. We're in a war against these people."

First of all, Bush has no proof whatsoever that any terrorists actually wish they could cause hurricanes. That's pure fantasy and speculation on his part and what's known in the logic community (about which der Presidunce certainly has no clue) as a strawman. Secondly, did he seriously just try to bolster support for his failed "war on Iraq -- err, terror" by linking Katrina and terrorists?? Is there anyone in this country dunder-headed enough to fall for such blatant idiocy?? ~sigh~ Don't answer that. Sadly, I know that there are...and they are legion.

New Orleans: BushCo's Fault

2005-09-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I don't mean that the hurricane or the flooding is the Bush maladmin's doing (although their dogmatic, idealogical resistance to the fact that greenhouse emissions cause global warming -- which, in turn, causes these monster storms -- certainly doesn't help). Had BushCo not hamstrung FEMA by pushing it under the umbrella of Homeland Security and then siphoning off its funding to Iraq, and were the 40% of ground troops in Iraq that are National Guardsmen and women been here instead of off fighting an insane and illegal war, the aftermath of Katrina would've been severely lessened.

And, as usual, BushCo is completely unwilling to take responsibility for its devastating ineptitude:
Federal officials do not dispute the magnitude of the suffering. Yet they say it is horrific natural conditions, not human blunders, that have hampered their efforts and that they are doing a Herculean job, under the circumstances, of saving lives.

And...
In a country that spent nearly $1 billion airlifting supplies to tsunami victims in southern Asia and tens of billions of dollars ferrying military supplies to Baghdad to wage war, many wondered why the United States could not also supply water, food and medical supplies to the tens of thousands of its own needy residents.

And...
Federal officials suggested that the television pictures do not show the entire story and said rescue crews successfully rescued and evacuated thousands from the most dangerous areas.

Yeah...just like the television pictures haven't shown all the Iraqis showering praise and laying roses at the feet of the U.S. soldiers who've -- um, "liberated" them (from their homes, from their livlihoods, from their families, and from their lives).

And the icing on the cake, from the pinnacle of failure himself:
"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees," he said.

Except that someone did.

In 2001, a FEMA report ranked hurricane damage to New Orleans as one of the three most likely catastrophes facing the country (the other two were a terrorist attack on New York City and an earthquake in San Francisco). [Look out San Franciscans...you know how good Bush is with his trifectas!]

The New Orleans Times-Picayune published a five-part series in 2002 that began with the words: "It's only a matter of time before south Louisiana takes a direct hit from a major hurricane. Billions have been spent to protect us, but we grow more vulnerable every day. ..." The stories quoted flood experts warning specifically of the potential damage from rising water levels and broken levees.

Despite the warnings, money was cut from flood control as the federal government's focus shifted to terrorism. The Bush administration routinely provided less than half the money the Army Corps of Engineers requested for New Orleans flood prevention.

Oops! Caught with his pants down yet again. And, in typical BushCo form, the blunder resulted in massive death and suffering.

"I mean, I understand the anxiety of people on the ground. I can..."

I believe the appropriate word here is: BULLSHIT!! Bush understands the plight of those in New Orleans about as well as he does the plight of innocent Iraqis. I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that Bush's proposal for saving New Orleans is to bomb it.
"We totally understand what it's like to be sitting on top of a roof or to be sitting in a shelter where it's hot; where you're worried about when you're going to be picked up; where you're thirsty; where you're hungry; where you're afraid for yourself, you're afraid for members of your family," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told reporters at a Washington news conference. "We have to nevertheless proceed with our priorities in terms of how we deal with this unprecedented disaster."

In other words, "Piss off. We're busy taking over the world. We'll get to you when we're done spilling blood and pumping oil".

Source: San Francisco Chronicle, "Anarchy, anger, desperation: Sharp criticism of Bush administration reaction and failure to prevent disaster" by Marc Sandalow

His Blood Boils Like Mine

2005-08-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yeeeessss!!!!! (Aaand, I'm spent).

Listen up, you Christo-Fascist bullies

Pat Robertson: Righter to Lif-- uhh...Death? Wait, what?

2005-08-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

These are quite the family values: let's assassinate Chavez because, you know, we can. And it'd be cheap. And, most importantly...it wouldn't disrupt the flow of oil into God's Great Nation.

Televangelist Calls for Chavez' Death

So, Robertson is against abortion (because he sees it as murder) and for assassination of any world figure who dare speak out against the devastatingly inept Presidunce of 'Murika. Apparently, murder is okay, so long as Robertson hates the victim.

There can be no doubt (except, perhaps, in the minds of the insane) that the Reich's boy Pat is a psychopath.

Turning 'Murika into a Theocracy

2005-08-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

Grooming Politicians for Christ
Nearly every Monday for six months, as many as a dozen congressional aides — many of them aspiring politicians — have gathered over takeout dinners to mine the Bible for ancient wisdom on modern policy debates about tax rates, foreign aid, education, cloning and the Central American Free Trade Agreement.

Because, as we all know, the Bible is abundantly clear and specific about where Christians should stand on the issues of cloning and the Central American Free Trade Agreement. Cloning and Central American trade were central themes in the New Testament book of "Oh-That's-Right-They-Weren't!".
Through seminars taught by conservative college professors and devout members of Congress, the students learn that serving country means first and always serving Christ.
They learn to view every vote as a religious duty, and to consider compromise a sin.
That puts them at the vanguard of a bold effort by evangelical conservatives to mold a new generation of leaders who will answer not to voters, but to God.

Greeeeat. Rather than do the will of the people (the very definition of representative democracy and the ONLY job our representatives should have) the future leaders of America are being trained to do the will of a fictional, psychopathic, invisible man in the sky.

You know...when David Berkowitz said his "high demon" neighbor sent him messages through his evil dog, society treated him appropriately. There seem to be some discrepant standards at work here. Or do we only trouble ourselves with categorizing as insane those who receive messages to do physical harm (as opposed to just wrecking democracy) from hallucinations?
The most prominent is Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Va., an hour's drive from the capital. The college was founded five years ago with the goal of turning out "Christian men and women who will lead our nation with timeless biblical values."

Timeless Biblical values. Like the abomination of eating shellfish? Or of murdering aldulteresses...but not adulterers? Or of devaluing the lives of women when compared to men? Or of slaughtering the women and children of one's enemies? Or the prohibition against...shaving? Timeless, indeed.

As Kennedy put it: "If we leave it to man to decide what's good and evil, there will be chaos."

Chaos...yes, I've heard of this. Ah yes, like in Iraq! Where BushCo has arbitrarily decided that it's "good" of us to murder and maim the brown-skinned people indiginous to the oil-rich region and "evil" of them to try to defend themselves. Or how about in the old testament where it was -- and, because the values in the Bible are "timeless", still is -- good to turn your daughters over to be gang raped by a mob (Gen 19:5-8) and bad to, oh I don't know, befriend someone who believes in a different (or no) god than you (Ex 23:32-33).

The seminars proved a revelation. In one, Greene learned that ministers ran many of America's earliest schools. He hadn't thought much...

(oops...sorry! I guess there was more to that statement -- although
there shouldn't have been!)

...about education policy before that class. Now he plans to fight for history lessons on the Founding Fathers' faith, science lessons drawn from the Book of Genesis and public school prayer.

I'm sorry...science lessons drawn from the Book of Genesis?? I guess I was right: he doesn't think much! Here's another revelation: many of the Founding Fathers weren't Christian! ~gasp~

"It's one thing to have a [biblically inspired] position on one or two issues," said Greene, 26, who was wearing a wristband printed with the slogan "Jesus Is My Homie." "This class has you look deeper. It gives you an intellectual consistency."

That's true! Fundie Bonk Jobs are typically devoid of all intellect. And that's about as consistent as one can get.

Wait a minute...is a white guy really wearing a bracelet that makes reference to the term "homie"? ~sigh~
On this night, the topic was bioethics. As the students unwrapped deli sandwiches and brownies, prominent bioethicist Nigel M. deS. Cameron praised them for thinking about the "great questions of the day" through the prism of faith.

Note to LA Times editor: "prison" was mispelled in that last sentence.
Too often, he added — to a few startled looks — "Christians are not noted for using their brains."

The nerve! Boy, it takes moxy to pretend to be surprised that we notice they don't use their brains.

In an hourlong lecture, Cameron argued that Christians must move beyond denouncing abortion to see the "moral outrage" in other common practices, such as paying Ivy League students to donate eggs in the quest for a perfect baby."
Taking human life made in God's image may not be as bad, from God's point of view, as making human life in your own image," said Cameron, a professor at Chicago-Kent College of Law. "Our humanity, warts and all, is what we have been given to steward. It's not to be manipulated."

That's right! We're evil, snivelling worms deserving of the worst kind of punishment for behaving in a manner...well, uh...you know, consistent with our nature. How dare we strive to end the human suffering that a loving(?) god has inflicted upon us!
When Cameron called for questions, one student tentatively raised his hand to ask about embryonic stem cell research — specifically, the use of "spare" embryos, frozen in fertility clinics. "Under current practice, they're going to be discarded" unless they're used for research, he said. "What do we say about that, as Christians?"
Typical of Christians. Can't think for themselves. They need the comfort of an authority figure telling them what's right and wrong, what to believe and what to condemn.
"They're going to die anyway, right?" he said, indignant. "We don't apply the same principle to death row inmates. They're going to die anyway, so why can't we get some use out of them? We'd be able to do some fascinating experiments."

Ah, sarcasm! A higher form of communication. Wait, I'm confused.
"The principle of manipulating human life to get experimental benefit," Cameron said, "that is a very, very serious line to cross."

Alright then, fine. No medicine for Mr. Cameron. Let him pray for a cure when he gets the clap from one of the hookers he visits. And nothing for his ailing parents or his sick kids. Gotta have the courage on one's convictions, you know? (How much ya wanna bet Mr. Cameron takes full advantage of every benefit modern medicine -- much of which is based on human experimentation -- has to offer?)
"If you're clinging to conservatism just because you like conservatism, you don't put yourself on the line for your beliefs," Stacey said. "Your positions need to come from something deeper and more meaningful."

Like the irrational belief in an invisible man in the sky!

That message (of the Christian Reich) resonates with Jessica Echard, 23, who completed the Statesmanship Institute last year.
Growing up in rural West Virginia...

Well color me shocked!!
Now the director of the Eagle Forum, a conservative lobbying group founded by Phyllis Schlafly, Echard says Jesus would approve of a call for lower taxes: "God calls on us to be stewards of our [own] money."

Really?? What ever happened to Jesus' "render unto Caesar..."?

Appropriately,

(Roller) ended the recent class on bioethics with a plea: "(Invisible man in the sky), we pray you will help us to know how we should respond to these issues."
The (automotons) answered as one: "Amen."

US Battles for Theocracy

2005-08-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

Draft Constitution May Strip Iraqi Women of Basic Human Rights
Iraq's parliament received a draft of the country's constitution... The document stipulates Islam is the official religion of Iraq, and is a fundamental source for legislation.
U.S. officials reportedly played a major role in the drafting of the document. Monday's outcome was welcomed in Washington. In a written statement, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said, "The process by which Iraqis have reached this point is historic and in the best tradition of democracy."

Ummm...what universe am I in, please? I thought we were over there fighting for "freedom and democracy" (that is, after every other excuse BushCo gave for its war was proven to be a lie -- Iraq is a world threat, has WMDs, played a part in 9/11, is linked to al Qaeda). Since when is a theocracy in the best tradition of democracy?? Oh. Wait. I forgot. These are the same fuck-tards who want to turn our own "democracy" (it's actually an oligarchy) into a theocracy.

Violent Reich Wing Outraged by...Cartoon Violence

2005-08-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

This is too funny! WingNutDaily is foaming at the mouth...again.
"With its latest marketing gimmick … Planned Parenthood is glamorizing violence against people of faith," Sedlak said in a statement.

But wait...aren't Muslims "people of faith"? And isn't the United States (gawd bless 'murikka!) currently glamorizing violence against Muslim people of faith in Abu Graib, Guantanamo Bay, and in the streets of most major cities in Iraq? I believe the answers are 'yes' and 'yes'. So shut the hell up about 'glamorizing violence against people of faith' you Reich Wing hack. Your whiny, mysoginistic, ill-informed opinion isn't welcome in the real world.
"In this post-9/11 era of terrorism, Planned Parenthood has recklessly crossed the line by promoting violence against people who do not share the organization's radical beliefs," said Sedlak.

Fecking Jaysus, these people will pimp 9/11 for anything! And since when do women's health rights and equality constitute radical beliefs??! Time for a reality check, Sedlak.
"Planned Parenthood's actions are reprehensible, because there is no guarantee that someone viewing this video might not act on its suggestions and instigate violence against people of faith."

It's a cartoon for chrissake. anyone disturbed enough to think that watching a cartoon means they should physically assault another person is probably already a Reich Winger (these are the same people who say that without the punitive hand of gawd ahhmightee keeping their deviant tendancies in check, they'd be out raping and pillaging and murdering) and isn't going to the see the cartoon anyway. For those of us who know the difference between reality and not-reality...it's just a cartoon.
"This video is absolutely outrageous," said Douglas R. Scott, president of Life Decisions International, in a statement. "Pro-life men and women are depicted as evil and stupid."

No comment.
"It sends a message to teenagers that it is acceptable to eliminate those who disagree."

Betcha I can find a passage or two in the Bible that send the exact same message! (Try Ex 22:20 to start). But of more urgent concern, don't teenagers get that very same message from our actions in the Middle East (actions which are supported by a majority of anti-abortionists??)
"It is also riddled with misinformation about birth control, abortion, and sexual activity."

Oh. Yeah. As opposed to the shining beacons of truth put forth by the anti-abortion clan? Truths such as claiming that condoms can't reduce the spread of STDs including AIDS? Something tells me the anti-abortion crowd need look no further than its own camp to find misinformation about birth control, abortion, and sexual activity.
American Life League wants heads to roll over the video.

That's an interesting turn of phrase, considering that their complaint is that the cartoon promotes violence.
Said Sedlak: "American Life League demands that Planned Parenthood publicly reveal the names of all persons involved in the development and posting of this outrageous material..."

Why?? So that the Reich Wing's snipers and foot soldiers like Eric Rudolph can get to the business of doing "the good lawd's work"?

Slick Rick the Ideologue

2005-08-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

Jon Stewart had Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Obviously) on The Daily Show last week. I choked down as much of his hateful, closed-minded vitriol as I could but ended up fast forwarding through the last half of the interview to save what little sanity I have left. The primary reason he was on the show was to hawk his latest literary raving: It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good.

I was hoping for a better dissection of Santorum's ideology but Stewart either has too much compassion and decency, or not enough balls, to properly tear into Santorum. Anyway, the rebuttal of Santorum's points I was hoping for can be found by following this link, which contains a complete unraveling of the whole premise of Rick "Frothy" Santorum's book. I remember yelling at the TV how Santorum had no fucking clue what would constitute -- based upon actual history rather than some Reich Wing eutopian dream -- a "traditional" family or the "values" thereof and it turns out I was right. (I knew I was).

Mmmm...Morford

2005-08-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Who Loves Creepy Megachurches?

But you really don't need to attend one of these surreal spectacles to realize that most of us should kneel down right now in heartfelt gratitude that we have never been forced to endure, say, the all-paunchy-married-male revue of a Promise Keepers rally, or the bizarre pious cheerleading of a Harvest Crusade in L.A., and hence we have been blessedly devoid of the taint of guys like Greg Laurie, one of the new breed of sleek preening pastors, a strange new mutant species of pastor-CEO-huckster-salesman, who leads the big Harvest chant-alongs and who writes milky best-selling self-help books, books that claim to know something of God but that somehow never mention single-malt scotch or anal sex or Tom Waits or grinning Buddha icons or chocolate ice cream drizzled on a lover's tailbone, slowly, tantalizingly. Greg. Sweetheart. You so don't know God. I'm just sayin'.

Similar Sentiments

2005-08-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

David Podvin and I must be cut from the same cloth:
With the political news being so relentlessly depressing, many liberals seek solace by watching beautiful sunsets or listening to great music or reading fine literature. I'm not quite so pretentious. I get off on seeing conservatives unhappy. No bleeding heart liberal here. I revel in their pain. The more misery they incur, the sunnier my disposition. Contemptible, isn't it? I almost feel guilty.

Please read the rest: Shadenfreude

Presidunce Bush Confirms Status as Idiot...Yet Again

2005-08-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

Unintelligent president endorses teaching 'intelligent design,' defends Roberts and Rove — then leaves for another month-long vacation
Bush said he has no idea how Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts would vote in a case challenging the legality of abortion because he never asked him about it.

BULLSHIT!!! Regardless of whether or not he actually asked him about it, Bush would never have appointed Roberts without knowing for sure that he was no friend of Roe v. Wade.

"I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought," Bush said. " You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas (actually, they were asking if you though ID should be taught in public schools...don't change the question, just answer it), the answer is yes."

That's an unusual statement coming from the least informed, least intelligent president the country has ever seen. He thinks people should be exposed to different schools of thought as part of becoming educated? Okay. Then how about teaching Satanism -- as an opposing view with equal validity -- alongside Christianity in church? Oh wait, that's right...going to church has nothing to do with education. Alright then, how about this? How about the theory (actually reality, backed by evidence) that Iraq was never a threat to the U.S., did not have WMD, and had no ties to al Qaeda. Hmm? What do you say to that, Mr. Let's-look-at-all-sides-except-the-ones-that-don't-give-me-my-war?
"The claim that equity demands balanced treatment of evolutionary theory and special creation in science classrooms reflects a misunderstanding of what science is and how it is conducted," the academy said in a 1999 assessment. "Creationism, intelligent design, and other claims of supernatural intervention in the origin of life or of species are not science because they are not testable by the methods of science."

Now...isn't that one of the most sussinct, clear statements of the whole situation you've ever heard? It doesn't get any more simple than that.

...advocates of intelligent design also claim support from scientists. The Discovery Institute, a conservative think tank in Seattle that's the leading proponent for intelligent design, said it has compiled a list of more than 400 scientists, including 70 biologists, who are skeptical about evolution."

First off, it just makes my skin crawl every time the name of our progressive city is drug through the mud by the mere association with an organization as backward thinking as The "Discovery" Institute. And second, what are they "discovering"? Their own assholes? Because they're certainly not discovering reality!

The fact is that a significant number of scientists are extremely skeptical that Darwinian evolution can explain the origins of life," John West, associate director of the organization's Center for Science and Culture, said in a prepared statement.

400 scientists the world over is considered "a significant number" by these idiots?? No wonder they fail to grasp real science.

(Bush) also offered an unequivocal defense of Palmeiro, a friend from their days together with the Texas Rangers in the early 1990s. Bush was the team's managing partner when Palmeiro played in Texas.

The Orioles slugger was suspended for 10 days after testing positive for steroid use, despite his insistence that he never intentionally used the prohibited substance. ("I, uhh, fell on the needle! Yeah, that's it, I fell on a needle full of steriods...on a regularly scheduled basis. It was completely unintentional"). Bush has been an outspoken critic of steroid abuse.

"Rafael Palmeiro is a friend. He testified in public and I believe him," Bush said, referring to Palmeiro's denials under oath to a congressional committee on March 17. "He's the kind of person that's going to stand up in front of the klieg lights and say he didn't use steroids, and I believe him. Still do."

So on the one hand you have Bush' good friend Raffy-boy swearing (lying) that he's clean and on the other hand you have reality. Which does Bush choose to go with? Fantasy. Just like everything else; Social Security, the war in Iraq, faith based initiatives, evolution, global warming (reality-based science, in general), and on and on.

Let's see...Palmeiro testifies to a congressional committee on steroid use in MLB (why Congress was involved when there were, and still are, much bigger scandals going on in the White House is beyond me) that he never used steroids...and then tests positive. He's rich and he's a liar. Of COURSE Bush and ol' Raffy-boy are friends! To paraphrase a pick-up line from Beavis and Butt-head, "..you're rich, I'm rich...you're a liar, I'm a liar..." Also, Bush's complete disconnect between fantasy and reality ties back in with his position on creationism, global warming, Social Security and the war on terror -- sorry, the "global struggle against violent extremism" -- to name just a few.
Bush, who leaves Tuesday for a monthlong stay at his Texas ranch, took questions from five Texas reporters at a conference table in the Roosevelt Room, just off the Oval Office. Looking relaxed and upbeat, he sipped on cola and chewed ice as he answered, deflected or bantered his way through questions on a host of topics.

Oh. Yeah. Isn't the Presidunce just the epitome of everything a world leader should be! Hiding out, yucking it up with a hand picked gaggle of home-team reporters, getting ready for A MONTH LONG VACATION, amidst a crumbling economy, a looming oil crisis and global attacks which are the direct result of his own ineptitude. Jesus H. Christ, we are so fucked...

They Attack There Because They Want to Attack Here

2005-06-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

From Bush's cheerleading in front of an audience of stooges...
And we fight today because terrorists want to attack our country and kill our citizens, and Iraq is where they are making their stand.

Is there anyone in the world with more brain cells than the late Terri Schiavo who buys this bullshit line of reasoning? It defies all logic! There's these people, see? And they want to attack our country (that would be here, in the Western hemisphere), see? And they want to kill our citizens (again...residing here in the Western hemisphere). You with me so far? So what they're doing is attacking cities in Iraq (that's half way around the fucking planet) and our troups that are occupying those cities. See what I'm saying? See what perfect sense it makes? They attack over there because they want to attack over here. WTF? How brain-dead would you have to be to follow such bullshit, none sense logic??? If they REALLY wanted to attack us here, they'd fly over here and strap bombs to themselves in THIS COUNTRY!! But they're not. They just want our mercenaries out of THEIR country.
So we'll fight them there, we'll fight them across the world, and we will stay in the fight until the fight is won.

It would appear that the Presidunce has traded in My Pet Goat in favor of some Dr. Seuss. "We'll fight them here, we'll fight them there...we will fight them anywhere!" Yay! Goooooo TEAM!

And, apparently (I didn't watch it...can't stomach the simp) Bush also asked us to salute our troops and fly our flags high this coming 4th of July. Ironic, isn't it? We'll be celebrating the day that marks our forefathers doing to England exactly what patriotic Iraqis are trying to do to us today. Gawd Bless 'Murikkka!

For more commentary, see: BushSpeech Final: U.S. - 0, B.S. - 1,744 and rising

Federal Idolatry

2005-06-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

Christian conservatives to seek voters' support for government displays of Ten Commandments
"There is no bigger issue on the Christian agenda," said Charles W. Colson, evangelical Xian writer and Watergate figure of the issue regarding the display of the X Commandments on government property.

So, lemme see here...of world hunger, poverty, disease and the murder of innocents the world over (but especially in Iraq), the biggest issue for Xians is whether or not they get to erect idols on government property, effectively claiming the government as their own?? Sheesh. And here I thought Xians might actually be concerned about their fellow humankind. Jesus has got to be turning in his grave...or something.
Representative Ernest Istook, Republican of Oklahoma, said he planned to try to revive a proposed constitutional amendment to permit government displays of the Commandments as well as school prayer and the recitation of the phrase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Theocracy, anyone? Yeesh!

BushCo Politicizing 9/11? NEVER!

2005-06-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/ny-usbush0629,0,4202652.story
And just last week, 9/11 made another appearance, when Bush's top political adviser, Karl Rove, accused liberals of a weak response to the Sept. 11 attacks, prompting Democratic cries that he was politicizing the tragedy.

Of course he was politicizing 9/11. That's what BushCo does! Hell, their complete ineptitude in preventing the attacks are a key part of the orchestration of the event. They knew they needed an attack like 9/11 to galvanize the will of the people to increase US hegemony in the middle east, so why bother with trying to prevent it? And now that it's happened, they've got to milk it for all it's worth. 9/11 was all but scripted by the Project for a New American Century (PNAC).

On Evolution

2005-06-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

Look...I'm not saying that super-intelligent, highly advanced and powerful aliens -- per se -- created us and the universe in which we live, I'm just saying that the evidence leads one to conclude that our world is too complex to have come about without someone having planned it out and done it on purpose.

Sound ridiculous? Of course. Any more ridiculous than an invisible man in the sky creating us and the universe in which we live? Not by a long shot.

Thoughts on evolutionary biology from a deep thinker on the KS school board
"It is our goal to write the standards in such a way that clearly gives educators the right AND responsibility to present the criticism of Darwinism alongside the age-old fairy tale of evolution," Morris wrote.

It amazes me that she thinks the fairy tale of creationism -- pardon me, the fairy tale of "Intelligent Design" -- presents any kind of valid criticism of evolution other than, "we have pudding for brains and, therefore, can't understand evolution so we've made up an invisible man in the sky who created everything". There. No holes in that theory.
Morris wrote. "But the quandary exists when poor science - with anti-God contempt and arrogance - must insist that it has all the answers."

As opposed to poor mythology - with anti-science contempt and arrogance - which insists that it has all the answers, regardless of how ridiculous and juvenile those answers might be.

Big Brother is Recruiting

2005-06-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

The Great Cannon Fodder Hunt
WASHINGTON — The Defense Department yesterday began working with a private marketing firm to create a database of all U.S. college students as well as high-school students between ages 16 and 18, to help the military identify potential recruits in a time of dwindling enlistment.The program is provoking a furor among privacy advocates. The new database will include an array of personal information including birth dates, Social Security numbers, e-mail addresses, grade-point averages, ethnicity and what subjects the students are studying.

What? No category for income? But that's the most important one! Everybody knows it's the poor kids that are the easiest to recruit. There really only need be three categories: race, income, and GPA. If you're a poor minority of less than average intelligence or ambition, BushCo wants you to go fight its wars of aggression.
The Pentagon's statements added that anyone can "opt out" of the system by providing detailed personal information that will be kept in a separate "suppression file."

Just to clarify, the system works like this: If you don't want your personal information kept in a national database, all you have to do is provide your personal information to be kept in a national database. Why, it's ingenious!

Ridiculous WH Logic re: Iraq Exit Strategy

2005-06-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

Pressure Growing to Plan Iraq Exit
Last week, the House International Relations Committee voted 32-9 to call on Bush to develop a strategy to leave Iraq. The White House rejects the idea, believing such a policy would only encourage the Iraqi insurgency.

That makes no sense at all! Ol' Georgie should start off by asking hisself, "Why is there an insurgency in Iraq?" The obvious answer: "Because there is a group of people there that wants us the fuck out of Iraq". If we announce an exit strategy, what motivation would they have to continue blowing themselves up in order to take out our troops? None! We would just have removed their motivation.

"We have ousted Saddam Hussein. That's a victory. We've given them an opportunity to develop a democracy. That is a victory. We're training Iraqi troops. That will be a victory," Jones (sponsor of a resolution urging Bush to produce an exit plan) said. "Have we achieved our goals, and if not, what are those goals?"

In a word, the goal is control; in Iraq, and the greater Middle East region. And if we withdraw from Iraq, those in charge of the country may, or may not, remain friendly to Duhbya and his friends' corp-whore-ate interests. They may not like us having military bases in their country and might kick us out. They may not like US companies pumping their oil out from underneath them and might kick them out. The only way to retain complete control is to remain an occupier.

Bush and his top aides have resisted setting a timeline for troop withdrawal or talking publicly about specific goals. Doing so, they say, would provide information useful to the insurgency -- an argument the House GOP leadership has endorsed.
"I never tell my kids when my patience is going to run out, because they'll usually try it," said Representative Mike Pence, Republican of Indiana and a staunch Bush ally. "Tactically, it's very unwise to signal a timeframe to the enemy, because it essentially gives them a deadline for how long they have to hang on."

What's wrong with this picture? Our leaders have the impression that they're the parents of the world! "Now, give me that oil, you little brat, or I'll spank you six ways sidelong!" Of course, our "leaders" deny that it's about oil and claim we're there promoting the cause of democracy. But how can a true democracy exist in an atmosphere where US policymakers treat the rest of the world as unable to take care of itself?

Bush on the US Role as a Global Polluter

2005-06-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

This article reports on Bush and Blair denying that they were planning a military invasion of Iraq in spite of the evidence to the contrary contained in the Downing Street Memo. The fact that they're flatly denying their documented actions is baffling enough. But down at the bottom, the last paragraph is this little nugget concerning global warming:
"I've always said it's a serious long-term issue that needs to be dealt with," Bush said. "We lead the world when it comes to dollars spent, millions of dollars spent on research about climate change. We want to know more about it. It's easier to solve a problem when you know a lot about it."

Of course, he neglected to mention that we also lead the world in pollutants spent into the environment. And it's assinine to claim that we don't know enough about pollution to do anything about it yet.

The Ridiculous Lengths to Which the Christian Reich Will Go to Insulate Itself from the World

2005-06-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

Shaving Private Ryan

"CleanFlicks" now sanitizing movies of all artistic or creative value for uptight, overly-clenched Christians everywhere.

One CleanFlicks fan, David Miller of Chattanooga, Tennessee, states he’s delighted with his local branch. Now, he can rent Jackie Chan’s “Rush Hour” without seeing any shooting scenes. (Pugilistic bludgeoning is okay, but not bullet wounds?)
“I’ve tried to rent videos and speed past the nudity and violence but, doggone it, you already saw it and it already affected you,” he exclaimed. “It’s not just an innocent video, it’s affects the way you’re going to behave.

"So there I am sitting next to my wife and kids with a raging hard-on as a result of an on-screen flash of cleavage. An erection, by god! And that's the last thing I want to have to subject my wife to. Imagine her horror at my arousal! It was all we could do to conceive; what with all the disgusting, sinful sex and the vomiting at the atrocity of it all. We managed, somehow, to survive that horrible ordeal, and now this??

"And little Timmy? He was already vigorously rubbing up against the arm of the couch. It was Hedonism run amok, I tell you! It was just too much to take", he likely went on, eyes twitching, bashing himself in the head with his KJV.

Seriously, though. Click the link. Ed Naha's commentary is excellent!

Conservatives SO Don't Get It

2005-06-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

Texas Governor Draws Criticism for a Bill-Signing Event at an Evangelical School

"Activist judges have used the bench to advance a narrow agenda," the governor said, adding that the measure defining marriage as a sacred bond between a man and a woman "places it beyond the reach of activist judges."

I'm sorry...who has a narrow agenda?? Apparently irony and hypocrisy aren't in the Conservative vocabulary. After all, what could be more ironic and hypocritical than a myopic law which forces the beliefs of a few on the whole while claiming the law opposes a narrow agenda?

The event caused a stir last week after The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported on plans for it. The Perry campaign later released the text of an e-mail message sent to religious groups. It said in part, "We want to completely fill this location with pro-family Christian friends who can celebrate with us."
"People of all faiths are welcome," Mr. Saenz (Perry's campaign director) said.

Then why specify that "pro-family Christian friends" were wanted?? Ass.

Rabbi David Stone of the Beth Yeshua Messianic Jewish Congregation in Fort Worth, was, in fact, present and gave the closing benediction. The group believes that Jesus was the Messiah, a tenet heretical to traditional Jews.

People of all faiths, indeed. So long as they believe that Jesus is the savior. In other words...CHRISTIANS!! It doesn't matter what you call yourself, if you believe Jesus was the Christ...you're a Christian! It's like Zell Miller calling himself a Democrat. Doesn't matter what he calls himself, he's a Reich Wing Bush supporter!

Kathy Walt, a spokeswoman for Mr. Perry, said, "It's not a separation of church and state issue: it's not limited to people of one faith."

WTF?? Since when did separation of church and state apply only when a single religion is involved? It's the separation of CHURCH and state, not the separation of Reich Wing Evangelical Homophobic Christians and state.

The Rev. Robin Lovin (great name, by the way!), a Methodist minister and an S.M.U. professor holding the Maguire Chair in Ethics, said, "There are lots of reasons to go to church on Sunday, but making laws isn't one of them."
Signing a bill into law in a church, he added, "is a pretty clear symbol that the church is at the service of the state or the state is at the service of the church and either way we've crossed an important line that has a long history in both politics and theology."

Well, at least someone of faith gets it!

"When the governor of Texas will stand for life and marriage and family, then we will stand with him."
But nobody mentioned Texas' position as the state with the most executions.

That's what I was wondering about. It's infinitely perplexing to me how Christians can reconcile support for the death penalty which a "culture of life".

Mr. Parsley also painted a grim picture of gay men and lesbians. "We are not to sacrifice our children on the altar of sexual lust of a few," he said.

Wow. These Bonk Jobs really do live off by themselves, hidden in an insular little world of fear and hatred, don't they. It might help for them to step out into the real world every once in a while and discover that homosexuality and pedophilia aren't the same thing. Although, gauging from the Catholic clergy, one might get that impression.

Don Wildmon, president and founder of the American Family Association, drew applause when he said he was proud to live in a country where people could protest. But he portrayed the controversy over the use of a church gym as silly. "Of all the things in the worlds to argue about," he said.
Then he said: "This is not the sanctuary. God ain't in here. He's in there!" He pointed outside in the direction of the church.

First off: poor, down-trodden Christians. Forced into second-class citizenship where they have to protest the overbearing secular government (as if it wasn't completely in bed with the Christian Reich). Boo-hoo-hoo. Yeah. Right. And second: I thought "God" was everywhere. Convenient, isn't it, that God suddenly up and disappears back to his hidey-hole in the church sanctuary when his followers tread dangerously along the line separating Church and State.

What to do about the Bonk Jobs?

2005-06-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

Kind of a silly by-line ("Everybody always talks about religious conservatives, but nobody ever does anything about them") because it tends to lead the reader to believe the author is about to present the magic bullet -- the method by which religious conservatives, a.k.a. Fundie Bonk Jobs, can be converted back to reality. (I say "back to reality" because we're all born atheists. The belief that a fairy tale construct, e.g. Christianity, is real has to be taught.)
Progressives in this country have always maintained a kind of fuzzy belief that fundamentalists will eventually just disappear, as if by magic, that the phenomenon of grown men and women believing in devils and witches and angels will inevitably be outgrown, the way children outgrow Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Marx. When some pastor in rural Alabama takes the pulpit to denounce SpongeBob Squarepants as the agent of the Evil One, we figure no response is really necessary—folks will figure out the joke on their own, somewhere down the line.
This is a mistake, and it is the same mistake people have made for centuries: underestimating the American zeal for superstition, for boobism, for living the intellectual lives of farm animals. A large statistical majority of Americans would rather live their whole lives in perpetual fear of the devil than listen to ten minutes of common sense. When you consider where these people live intellectually, the idea that the Democratic Party can somehow succeed in Middle America by making small tactical changes, by waving a few more flags, seems absurd. You either believe in the devil or you don't; and if you don't, you're never going to fool these people. The Republicans, for all their seeming "confusion," understand this now better than ever.
...this current crew of Republican strategists has always understood American thinking better than the Tom Junods of the world. They know that most political trends are fleeting. Liberalism vanished at the first sign of trouble; pacifism disappeared one generation after Vietnam; even fiscal conservatism is easily forgotten. The one thing that never disappears in this country is stupidity, and if you court it, you'll always have votes down the line. Especially when it lives on unopposed.

So the article makes very good points, but the crux of the matter is summed up best by Thomas Paine: "Arguing with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like giving medicine to the dead". We're not going to convince the god-believers that there is/are no god(s) demanding that they force their provincial rules on everyone under threat of eternal punishment. Why lament the fact that no one does anything about Fundie Bonk Jobs without proposing something? And is there really anything that can be done? Or rather, should we do anything? Forcing them to give up their fantasies is akin to them forcing their fantasies on us. Where is the line between allowing them to have their fantasy world and stopping them from legislating it?

GeeDUHbya: so freaking out of touch with reality

2005-06-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Bush: "Yes, Iraq is America's Golden Moment"
You know, I reminded people that because Japan is a democracy, Japan is now a great friend, we work together on big issues, and yet it wasn't all that long ago that we warred with Japan.

Translation: "See how good things worked out when we nuked Japan?"

And the problem is, is that I not only see the benefits of democracy, (indeed, the "benefits" of democracy in Iraq ARE a problem!) but so do the terrorists. And that's why they want to blow people up, indiscriminately kill, in order to shake the will of the Iraqis, or perhaps create a civil war, or to get us to withdraw early. (Pull out! Stop fucking us! We don't want to be pregnant with your bastard child of "democracy"!) That's what they're trying to do, because they fear democracy. (You and your bonk-job Fundamentalist Christian friends ought to know all about fearing democracy, eh Georgie-boy?) They understand what I just -- they understand what I understand, there's kind of a meeting of minds on that. (Is he seriously advocating that he and terrorists think alike? Finally! A moment of candor!) And that's why the American people are seeing violent actions on their TV screens, (because you're a terrorist, George) because these people want to -- the killers want us to get out. They want us to -- they want the Iraqis to quit. They understand what a democracy can mean to their backward way of thinking.

Well...Geeduhbya sure does seem to have a handle on the mindset of terrorists. Perhaps because HE IS ONE! And speaking of backward ways of thinking...I give you the Fundamentalist Evangelical Christian Reich, I give you today's Republican Party, and I give you George...DUHbya...Bush.

I'm a sucker

2005-05-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Erica, for bringing to my attention that I've been had. I guess now we all know which things I'm more than willing to fall for! I got all worked up over a satirical piece. Silly, silly me. Stupid me.

Gravity: "Just a theory"

2005-05-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

So, I'm scanning th headlines when I quickly skim "Foes of Evolution Set Sights on New Target: Gravity".

Wait…what?! They can't really be that insane, can they?

So I read the article and, yes, they really are that insane.

"I don't want to say that these people are idiots but they obviously don't know a whole hell of a lot about physics."

Well, you know what they say: "if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…it's probably an idiot Christian fundie bonk job". Or something along those lines.
For her part, Mrs. Dittie says that she's all too familiar with Einstein's theory—and that her curriculum improvement group is already contemplating launching a charge against the German physicist.

...her curriculum improvement group?? Shouldn't they at least be forced to be honost about what they're really doing? It's called curriculum destruction.
"But the last thing we need to expose our kids to is a theory of relativism. They're already being told that there's no right or wrong. If you want to learn about Einstein, fine. I just don't want my tax dollars going to pay for it."

What a dumbass. Einstein's Theory of Relativity isn't about moral relativism.

For those keeping score at home, it's "Tax dollars going to pay to indoctrinate kids into believing that invisible men in the sky and fairy tales are real": 1. "Tax dollars going to pay to teach our kids science, history and reality": 0.

Rent-a-cops are Assholes

2005-05-29T11:40:00.000-07:00

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “They can’t all be assholes”. But I believe that in making the claim I’ve come relatively close to the truth. Let me tell you why Rent-a-cops are assholes. Rent-a-cops – and to an even greater degree, real cops – are conditioned to treat everyone as a suspect of some wrong doing or other. Also, they are conditioned to believe that they are never wrong. What’s worse, few people seem to care that the police carry out their duties in the manner of assuming we, members of the general public, have done something wrong. Hardly an eyelash is batted when an otherwise law-abiding citizen is pulled over for doing 65 mph in a 60 and is treated as though they just wiped their ass with the U.S. flag, took a piss on the Highway Revenue Collector’s family grave, belong on death row, or all of the above.

Of course, at least, real cops are backed by an authority which helps explain the way in which an asshole attitude can fester and boil. Rent-a-cops, on the other hand, have no real authority. It’s like one of those annoying, untrained Shih-tzus running out of its yard and across the street, barking at you rabidly because you happen to exist. Just makes you want to punt it back into its own yard and go, “Shaaadup!” Same with attitude-laden rent-a-cops

So, here’s the deal. Only a rent-a-cop could present the following joyful news in such a way as to piss me off: facilities will be building more motorcycle parking for us!

As I’m leaving work today, there are tall, narrow semi-permanent road cones where yesterday there was a lane of travel through the parking lot. It looks to me as though they’ll be extending the existing motorcycle parking and I figure it’s a way of indicating that this is now the parking area. The cones are far enough apart and there is no hazard preventing me from safely riding between them at parking lot speeds, so I begin to ride through. Well…what to my wondering eyes does appear, but Mr. Disgruntled, “Today they gave the lone bullet to one of the female rent-a-cops and I’m pissed about it” Asshole Rent-a-cop? He steps directly into my line of travel. So I accelerate, and mow him down. Bwahahahahahaha!! Okay, no. That didn’t really happen, but would’ve been infinitely satisfying, knowing what I know now about our encounter. I slow to a stop and flip up my visor, so he can see that I’m not a threat and that he won’t have to radio to the rent-a-cop who does have the bullet today to “come quick”. He sees that I’m no threat, but insists on reading me the riot act anyway.

“Do you think you’re special? Do you think you can go through here just because you’re smaller than the cars that have to go around?”

“Well, yeah”, thinks I, already knowing that the experience in which I’m about to partake will likely rip me from my happy place. What kind of stupid question is “Do you think you can go through here just because you fit”? That’s precisely why I went through! Did he think I did it because of some licentious attraction to road cones on my part? Did he think I was rendered unable to keep away? And, yeah, I'm also special. I'm better for traffic. I'm better for world peace (I need less gasoline and oil and, therefore, am less apt to create a demand for oil which precipitates war). And I'm better for the environment. Way better, in fact, than the mouth-breathers using their 25 gallons-per-mile macho F350 Superdootie pick-ups as commuter vehicles. Anyway...

He goes on: “If there had been tape between the cones, you wouldn’t have been able to go through”.

Maybe. Or maybe I’d go through anyway and liberate the oppressed yellow crime scene/road construction ribbon from its shackles, allowing it to trail joyously behind me while I pretended to be the winner of the pageant! But no, I probably would’ve gone around. Mr. Obvious must’ve thought it made him look smart to point out that tediously boring fact. It just made him all the more annoying. So?

So I say to him, “What is all this?” waving in the general direction of the cones, which now surround us. (What! You thought I was going to let him stop me before I got into them? Huh-uh. I rode right up to the prick.) He proceeds to lecture me on how it’s an unsafe place to travel and they’ll be making it a permanent crosswalk and extended motorcycle parking area, inaccessible to motorized vehicles, but for the purposes of parking said two-wheeled variants.

As this is happening, a fellow rider is gearing up for his commute home in said soon-to-be-expanded motorcycle parking area and chimes in to the discussion. “So, I suppose you’re going to want me to go alllll the way around, too, huh?” I detect the sting of sarcasm. I’m pretty sure rent-a-cop lacks the requisite synapses firing to put together an understanding of sarcasm. Good for you for getting in a little jab, fellow rider!

“No”, says Stinky McAsshole-rent-a-cop, “we’ve decided to let anyone who parks in this area ride through”.

WTF?? Holy Arbitrary Nonsense, Batman!

Anyway, I feign a look at the rent-a-cop that says, “Wow, more motorcycle parking? This is really great news!” Which it is, even though it won’t directly benefit me because I park in another area. The thing that irritated me wasn’t that they had blocked off the lane where I usually ride (it’s a parking lot, fer Chrissakes, you can ride practically anywhere), but the manner in which the information was presented. So, at this point, I’m just itching to be on my way, because it’s taking everything I’ve got to remain civil and not call this prick a prick right to his face. (No, really! I was seriously thinking about it. Mild-tempered me! I mean, what’s he gonna do? Fill out one of those silly forms they do when you park illegally because there are too many people at the plant, and not enough paces to park? The ones that get sent to HR and then forwarded to your supervisor – now directly to your supervisor because of the cutbacks in HR – that result in…well, nothing? Okay, if you get enough of them, they “make” you take a day off without pay. But I’m getting off track here).

Anyway, not content to leave it be, Asshole Rent-a-cop says, “You got your badge?”

I say, “yeah…in the top case”, and nod my head aft.

He begins to walk away, fighting his asshole instincts, apparently thinking it’d be too much trouble for me to get off the bike, open the trunk, and show him my badge (which it would be, especially in this amazingly non-issue “incident”). But the A-hole Force is strong with this one and he just can’t let it go. He spins back around and says, “Get it out, I need to see it”.

Good thing for full-face helmets, because I wouldn’t want this asshole to have the pleasure of seeing me biting my tongue so hard it should’ve been bleeding. What goddamn difference does it make whether or not I have a badge? I wasn’t inside the gate, I was in the parking lot (admittedly, company property, but quite accessible to the general public, none the less). What if I didn’t have my badge? What if I was just on my way home after arriving and then discovering that I had left it? Or what if I didn’t even work there at all? Would the outcome of our little chat been any different? Anyway…as I retrieve my badge (and asshole rent-a-cop completely abdicates his primary duty to guard the gate from nefarious, would-be intruders, in favor of harassing me), I look at the fellow rider and just shake my head. He gives a bit of a chuckle and a smile as if to say, “Yup, he’s a Grade-A Prick, alright”.

So, I show a-hole my badge without even looking at him. (I know…like it mattered. I had on a full-face helmet – which only serves to further bring home the point of how ridiculous it is of him asking to see my badge in the first place). As I’m putting my badge away, with my back to Mr. Drunk-on-faux-authority, he says to me, “Have a nice weekend”.

What?! He pulls this lame-ass attitude with me and then thinks that “Have a nice weekend” makes the whole confrontation a shining example of his stellar people skills? I don’t think so. Fucking prick. The conversation would’ve gone over so much better if he’d have waved me down and, right from the start, treated me respectfully and just said something along the lines of, “I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be making this area into a permanent pedestrian/motorcycle parking area because the way the aisles all come together here is unsafe. Please start coming down the next aisle over.”

I’d have had no problem with that, and would’ve been happy to comply. “Have a nice day, Officer”, would’ve been my pleasant reply. But no. He had to be a prick and flex what little authoritative muscle he has. Bad, Shih-tzu! Bad!

God Loves Sex!

2005-05-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

Anal, oral, whatever! Plus...He's simply famous with glee over erections!

I'd like to see the uncontrollable twitching from the Rabid Christian Reich when they see this one!

Sex in Christ

Amnesty International warns US leaders could face prosecution for war crimes

2005-05-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

Amnesty International takes aim at Gitmo
White House spokesman Scott McClellan called the charges of widespread abuse "ridiculous" and said the U.S. was on top of the situation. "We hold people accountable when there's abuse," he said. "We take steps to prevent it from happening again."

Let's see...on top of it? Yes. Indeed. I've seen the pictures. You strip down a bunch of Iraqis, pile 'em up like a pyramid and then climb on top! What else...oh, yeah. "We hold people accountable". Absolutely. Not the right people. Usually just some low-level, expendable patsy, but we hold people accountable. And as far as taking steps to prevent future abuses...yeah, right.
The signers (of a call for an independent investigation of prisoner abuse) -- ranging from former Clinton White House chief of staff John Podesta to David Keene, head of the American Conservative Union, and former FBI director William Sessions -- said a comprehensive study by a group modeled after the Sept. 11 Commission was needed.

Fat lot of good that'll do. Unless these signers are a bunch of shills for BushCo, shouldn't they be looking for a successful model? The Sept. 11 Commission was a flop.
One signer, Kevin Barry, a retired Coast Guard captain and military judge, said military probes suffered from an inability to point the finger at higher-ups in the Pentagon.
"You can't indict the boss," Barry said. "But we have so much evidence of abuse in so many locations that to say it's a couple of bad people here or there has lost credibility with the public."

Hasn't this guy been paying attention? Bush could walk into Guantanamo, personally brutalize a prisoner (as if Bush would ever do any of the dirty work himself) and then shoot him in the head in front of live news cameras, and still get away with it.

...And 'Murikans from sea to shining sea would praise him for it.

Yeah, Baby!

2005-05-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05/18/vibrating_knickers/

Anal Rape and Sex With Mules

2005-05-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

From this week's Top Ten Conservative Idiots at the Democratic Underground.

Not much delights me in the way that the Idiots do. And this week was a banner week! This week's Top Ten flows deliciously from one act of ass-clowning to another, so it really must be read in it's entirety. But I'm especially giddy with the deviant lechery of Idiots #4 and #5: analy raping one's wife (apparently now a "family value") and sex with farm animals (which the conservative idiot engaging in the act finds normal…and explains, only seems weird and wrong to us urban dwellers, aka liberals, who are too far removed from the reality of domestic life on a farm).

Reich Wing Rallies Around Its Lead Criminal

2005-05-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

Reich Wing Fundraiser to Support Illegal Fundraising
"I'm tired of hearing from the left and not enough from the right," said Migliore...
What's the matter...TV broke? Never heard of AM radio? Because there are about a half dozen TV "news" stations that spout nothing but Reich Wing blather and a person can stop just about any where on the AM dial and the chances are good you've just tuned in to Reich Wing Hate Radio. What kind of ass thinks there's not enough propaganda coming from the right?
...who added that he admired DeLay for pushing Congress to intervene in the case of Terri Schiavo, the brain-damaged Florida woman...
Ah. That kind of ass. The brain-dead kind.
The Rev. Louis P. Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition, who will attend the dinner with several members of his organization, said that religious conservatives hold DeLay in high regard and do not think he has done anything wrong.
Well he is a reverend. Which basically means that he also believes in childish fairy tales and wishes others to believe the same, so perhaps the regard in which he holds DeLay, or the fact that he doesn't think DeLay has done anything wrong, should tell us something. Apparently, the inference to be made is that "traditional values" equals political crime.

al-Libbi, al-Liby...What's the Difference?

2005-05-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

I was watching the Daily Show (as I am wont to religiously do) one day last week when it had on, as guest, Tom Ridge, former Secretary of Hinterland (er, I mean "Homeland") Security. Ridge commented on how this nefarious al-Libbi character, supposed "number 3 man" in Al Qaeda's leadership, had just been captured and Jon Stewart didn't challenge it. He even commented that it was a good thing and I was left thinking, "Wait a minute...we caught the number 3 guy in Al Qaeda? Impossible. BushCo isn't nearly that adept (although, they are just that lucky)". Well, I can't fault Stewart too much for not taking Ridge, or the Bush regime, to task. He is, after all, a fake news commentator. In any case. Here's the challenge to the capture. Turns out it may all be a case of mistaken identity. Oopsie!

Ethics Training Pisses Me Off

2005-05-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

But not because I'm unethical (that's beside the point), because it's been proven not to work -- by top executives, no less! -- and yet they continue to ram it down our throats.

Celebration of our Ethics Training:
The (not-so-super-secret employer name goes here) Ethics and Our Business (formerly Recommitment to Ethics) is a mandatory 1 1/2-hour training event to refocus (refocus? Have we gotten out of focus? Were we focused on the wrong thing?) employees on making ethical decisions both for their own benefit and that of the company as a whole.

I'm sorry…the what-now? Celebration of our Ethics Training? First off, who's celebrating? Secondly, what have they to celebrate? Executive philandering? Corporate cronyism? Over 8,000 reports to the ethics office last year? Besides, since when do "Celebration" and MANDATORY go together? This is Orwellian on a level the Bush administration can appreciate. Yeah…ethics training works. It works to grate on my last raw nerves.

Christian Loudmouths Unhappy with "The Kingdom of Heaven"

2005-04-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Christian conservatives to do battle against crusader film
Christian conservatives in America are marshalling their forces against Sir Ridley Scott’s forthcoming crusader epic, The Kingdom of Heaven, claiming the film is insulting and unfair.

Is there anything Christian Conservatives don't find insulting and unfair to them?

Scott said he has tried hard to be fair to both sides in his film, which depicts the 12th-century battle between Muslims and Christians for Jerusalem.
Bob Waliszewski, director of Plugged In Film Review, a programme heard on 300 US radio stations, said the film depicted Christians as “mean-spirited”, while Saladin, the Muslim leader, was shown as a chivalrous knight.
"The Bishop of Jerusalem is a coward who deserts his flock, and most of the crusaders are driven by greed rather than piety," he said. "This is not how Christians I know see each other..."

Aww...poor guy. How unfortunate for him to have reality intrude on his fantasy world where all Christians are good and pure and benevolent.

From the US Dept. of Disappeared Bad News

2005-04-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Situation: report released citing highest terrorism activitiy since 1985, when data was first tracked.

Logical conclusion: BushCo policies re: terrorism are failing miserably.

BushCo response: cancel the report. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Everything is fine. Please go about your business. Nothing to see here. War on terror is progressing swimmingly.

JPII Legacy

2005-04-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

A pornographic celebraton of death
I am not Catholic. Yet, it's difficult not to feel the sorrow of
millions of devotees at the loss of Pope John Paul II. I cringe at calling anyone whose name isn't Jesus "Holy Father," but there's no doubt that John Paul II was indeed a great man, a shepherd worthy of the outpouring of love and grief that blanketed the world...

Squeeze me? A great man?? A shepherd worthy of an outpouring of love?? What woman in her right mind could have such lavish admiration for a mysoginist the likes of JPII? He did nothing for women's rights and plenty against. And what of his approval for his Cardinals' condemnation of -- and blatant misinformation regarding -- condoms as the most reliable bulwark against AIDS ravaging Africa?

The rest of the article makes good points. Ms. Samples reminds how the media fell all over themselves comparing Bush to JPII while blatantly skipping over the fact that the Pope was against most everything Bush stands for: war, the death penatly, trampling the poor in favor of the wealthy (in spite of the lavish accoutraments which addorn Catholicism, its leaders and its places of worship that could be sold, the proceeds of which could nearly wipe out poverty the world over). Oh yeah, and there was the whole pedophile priest thing. Media didn't make any mention of the Pope's handling of that.

We're not Power-Hungry! Just Greedy...and Stupid

2005-04-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

DeLay asks GOP colleagues in Senate to blame Democrats for his troubles
House Republicans intend to follow the script later in the week, hoping to showcase passage of bankruptcy legislation and estate tax repeal as a counterpoint to Democratic charges that they are merely power-hungry.

Perhaps someone should point out to House Repugnants that showcasing crass legislation that did nothing but grab more money (power) for their wealthy benefactors isn't, perhaps, the best way to illustrate that they aren't power hungry.

Then again, if it works, the Catholic priesthood should try it. "Before you judge us for molesting young boys, we'd like to point out all the work we've done molesting girls", the priesthood could say in an effort to counter its relationship with altar boys.

Culture of Life, My Ass!

2005-04-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

"Culture of Life" preaches death, quotes Stalin.

The Stalin quote used -- to suit the current rabid furor (or is that Führer?) in regard to "judicial activism" -- is "Death solves all problems: no man, no problem".

Culture of life, indeed! Of course, this says nothing of the fact that these Christian "patriots" are using an Atheist and a Communist (the two biggest boogy men to the Christian Reich) as a guide. Do they have ANY idea of what the definition of "hypocrisy" might be??! They're quoting a communist to promote the MURDER of judges for upholding the rule of law and calling it a culture of life. A better description would be "Culture of delusional morons".

The same guy who upholds Stalin as having a perfectly reasonable solution to "activist judges" then turns around and skewers a judge he presumes to be a Communist. "Kennedy should be impeached because his philosophy, evidenced in his opinion striking down an anti-sodomy statute, 'upholds Marxist, Leninist, satanic principles drawn from foreign law.' " -- Edwin Vieira quoted here. First of all...WTF?? Satanic principles drawn from foreign law?? And second of all...Hello??!

Vieira quotes Stalin (a communist) but abhors Marx and Lenin. No clear hypocrisy there.

Oh, and don't forget to bring up gays. And foreigners with their foreign law, of course. What an absolute bonk job! How can anyone take these Cult-of-Lifers seriously??

We are idiots!

2005-03-31T07:32:00.000-08:00

Oh, this is just priceless!!

People Are...Still Having Sex

2005-03-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

Report suggests those who pledge abstinence try other sex
The latest study, published in the April issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, found that teens pledging virginity until marriage are more likely to have oral and anal sex than other teens who have not had intercourse.
Among virgins, boys who have pledged abstinence were four times more likely to have had anal sex than teens who have remained abstinent but not as part of a pledge, according to the study. Overall, pledgers were six times more likely to have oral sex.
Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, called the study "bogus," disputing that those involved had pledged true "abstinence."

Of course she would say that. By doing so, she's guaranteeing that, no matter what, her programs will have a 100% success rate. If you make the pledge but then fail to keep it, you obviously didn't really make the pledge. I don't think I've witnessed such iron-clad logic since hearing Christians claim that other Christians who carry out immoral, unethical, or illegal acts aren't really true Christians. Of course they're not.
"Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has 'sex' in it is considered a sexual activity," Unruh said. "Therefore oral sex is sex, and they are staying away."

How provincial. How about we first start off with, "No, they're not staying away, as the statistics so clearly indicate". Next, what about words (phrases, actually) that don't have the actual word 'sex' in them but that still mean sex? Like 'blow job', 'hummer', 'oral gratification', etc. Those phrases don't have 'sex' in them so, it could be argued, they aren't sexual activity. Right or wrong, most people (adults and teens) don't consider oral sex to be sex.
"If adolescents only had sex in monogamous, married relationships, by definition there would be no STDs," Brueckner said, echoing President Bush's remarks in last year's State of the Union address. "But the majority of adolescents don't live like that. They do have sex."
~gasp~ He's kidding, right? Teens are having sex? Who knew!
Last year, the same research team found that 88 percent of teens who pledge abstinence end up having sex before marriage...

What an inspiring success rate! Let's funnel MORE money into these astoundingly successful programs!

Of course, some might argue that I've left out an important part of the statistic...that 99% of those who didn't make a pledge of abstinence, ended up having sex before marriage. By comparison, it looks as though the abstinence only programs really are successfull. That is, until you stop to consider that they're ABSTINENCE programs. In order for them to work, teens have to be NOT having sex (the definition of abstinence). However, teens are having sex. In large numbers, I might add, even in spite of their pledges. Perhaps a more succussful message would be, "Don't have sex...without a condom".

Nut Jobs with Kids

2005-03-23T08:27:00.000-08:00

Hey, did you hear about the atheist parents who took their child out to the country for a sacrifice that would put an end to the world's ills? No, of course you didn't. I can't think of a single instance of an atheist going nuts and trying to sacrifice his/her son or daughter in order to solve imaginary (or even real!) problems. But those nutty Christians seem to do it all too often.
Indiana State Police first clocked Guzik's 2002 Chevrolet Camaro about 9:45 a.m. near Rensselaer headed southbound on I-65 at 106 mph. The vehicle was clocked at 89 mph near the Indiana 25 exit in Lafayette.
Several witnesses told police the Camaro was passing vehicles in the emergency stopping lane.
According to a probable cause affidavit filed Monday in Tippecanoe Superior Court 6, Guzik told Trooper Jerrod Patty that the vehicle was driving itself and going fast because "it must be what God wanted.
"Guzik said God spoke to him by applying pressure to Guzik's temples, neck and forehead.
He told police he was led by God from his home outside Detroit into the country to sacrifice his daughter, who, Guzik told police, had been attacked by demons in her sleep.
Guzik said God told him to get his daughter out of his house to escape the demons because she was in danger.
Sacrificing his daughter, Guzik told police, would save the world.

Uhh...yeah.

To Serve and Protect??

2005-03-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

State trooper to motorcycle accident victim: Too Bad!

A state trooper was suspended for 15 days without pay after he was recorded on a 911 tape saying "too bad" to a caller seeking help for a man injured in a motorcycle accident.

Not to mention that it took 3 calls to finally get a responsible 911 operator to respond. The trooper responded to the second call with "he shouldn't have been riding like that". Prick.

Connecticut state Trooper Robert Peasley's actions, according to state police, did not affect the response time of emergency responders.

How do they figure?? None of the articles I've read mention anything about him dispatching emergency vehicles after his "too bad!" comment, so I'd say it certainly did affect the response time of emergency responders. Compounding the problem, the rider later died of injuries received in the accident.

The Repugnant Shiavo Mess

2005-03-22T12:48:00.000-08:00

Some in GOP Fear Shiavo Effort May Alienate Voters

"It (Republicans' efforts to save the life of Terri Schiavo) goes beyond shameless politics," said Tony Fabrizio, a Republican pollster . "It becomes a more crystallized proof point that we are no longer the party of smaller government. We have become a party of 'It doesn't matter what size government is as long as it is imposing our set of values.' "

Well, it sure is talking people long enough to realize this!

Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.), before voting against the bill Bush later signed, asked: "How deep is this Congress going to reach into the personal lives of each and every one of us?"
Still, some Republican analysts say the immediate poll results (that 70% of those polled believe congressional intervention is inappropriate in the case) - and the concerns raised by Shays and others - are not politically significant because the activists pushing to keep Schiavo alive care more passionately than those opposing that view.

Oh. I see. So Liberty no longer matters. The important thing is who screams the loudest. What a great system of government!

And then there's this: Bush is a hypocrite. A flip-flopper, some might say. (I know, I know...that phrase is SO November, 2004).
WASHINGTON -- As Texas governor, George W. Bush signed a law that allows hospitals to pull the plug on critically ill patients despite family objections - the kind of court-authorized move the president and fellow Republicans are challenging in the Terri Schiavo case.

Bush is such a simp. I'm sure he'd rather kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out, but with the Christian Reich writing his checks these days, he sways whichever way their breeze is blowing.
"The Texas statute that Bush signed authorized the ending of the life, even over the parents' protest. And what he's doing here is saying, 'The parents are protesting. You shouldn't stop [treatment],'" said John Paris, a noted medical ethicist at Boston College.
The White House said yesterday that Bush's position is consistent, and that the Texas bill focused on expanding the rights of the critically ill and their families to prevent hospitals and doctors from denying life-saving treatment.

The White House went on, "Black is white, up is down, wrong is right. Oh, and fuck you for daring to challenge our whimsy!".
In Texas, Bush's position also had the backing of Texas Right to Life, whose national headquarters, along with other Christian conservatives that make up a key part of the Republican base, has taken up the fight to prolong Schiavo's life.

Miserable. They forgot to say "miserable". The Christian Reich is fighting to prolong her miserable life. Oh, wait. Who am I to say that her quality of life is at a level below acceptable? I'm no one to make that claim! And neither is friggin' Congress or that idiot in the White House! It should be up to the people closest to her; in this case, her husband!

Misc. Ranting About Bonk Jobs

2005-03-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

Evangelicals' Bid to 'Reclaim' America
"We have God-sized problems in our country, and only God can solve them," Richard Land, a prominent leader of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), told the group.

Hmm...interesting, then, that "god" has yet to step up to the plate.
In material given to conference attendees, the Rev. D. James Kennedy, Coral Ridge pastor wrote: "As the vice-regents of God, we are to bring His truth and His will to bear on every sphere of our world and our society. We are to exercise godly dominion and influence over our neighborhoods, our schools, our government ... our entertainment media, our news media, our scientific endeavors - in short, over every aspect and institution of human society."

Well. Now, see, that's just about the worst promotion of tolerance, live-and-let-live speech I've ever heard! I don't believe I've seen such aspirations for global dominance since...well, the Bush maladministration. And the Crusades. And Dr. Evil's Evil Organization.
This is the 10th conference to spread this "cultural mandate" among Christians, and although the church's pastor couldn't speak due to illness...

With the Pope hanging on to life by barely a thread and this minister missing his conference, most important of events, due to illness...I'm beginning to doubt the omnipotence of "God".
This melding of religion and politics, Christianity and patriotism, makes many uneasy, particularly those on the other side of the so-called culture war, who see a threat to the healthy discourse of a pluralistic society.

And who could blame them for feeling that pluralism is being threatened when the Christian Reich is making statements about bringing their fairy tale worldview to bear on every sphere of the world and society. Not a whole lot of room for freedom or pluralism there.

Some (of the Bonk Jobs) are already involved in their communities - in antiabortion actions, in trying to prevent removal of feeding tubes from Terri Schiavo, or in efforts to oppose same-sex marriage by defining marriage as only between a man and a woman.

Because if there's one thing Fundamentalist Bonk Jobs are about, it's ensuring that everyone live to suffer through a long, excruciating life. Without any concern for the quality of Terri Schiavo's life, they want her kept alive. Without any concern for what kind of life a fetus will have to endure after it is born into an already over-populated world to a mother who doesn't want it, or can't afford to support it, they want that baby born, damn it! Without any concern for the quality of life or of the mental health of LGBT people, they want them stripped of any of the same rights the rest of us enjoy, and crammed back into the closet.
Several speakers emphasize the idea that America's founders were largely Christian and that their intent was to establish a biblically based nation. (No mention is made of other influences on the Founding Fathers, such as Englightenment thinkers or issues of freedom of conscience.)

Thank you! It's about time someone mentioned that the Founders weren't just a bunch of Christian Nut Jobs in their reporting. You won't find any kind of reporting the facts like that at Faux News. They Distort, You Decide. Ironic, I think, that such a mention is made in an article published by the Christian Science Monitor.
Coral Ridge's Center for Reclaiming America is building a grass-roots alliance around five issues: the sanctity of life, religious liberty, pornography, the "homosexual agenda," and creation vs. evolution.

Religious Liberty. Stupid assholes think that religious liberty means having the unfettered right to ram their bigoted, racist, homophobic fairy tale down everyone else's throat. That's not religious liberty, you stupid ass-clowns, that's religious TYRANNY!

Hey...did they say they're building a grass-roots alliance around pornography?? Cool!

"If they (judges) don't vote our way, we'll change their view one way or another," executive director Gary Cass tells the group.

Did that guy just threaten to kill judges who won't vote their way?? Get Tom Ridge on the phone! (Wait, did he jump ship with the rest of Bush's cabinet, too?)
"We're going to take back what we lost in the last half of the 20th century," he adds.

Your minds?

Keyes' Daughter Destroying America...

2005-03-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

...or something. Tough to make much sense of a raving lunatic.

(St Augustine, Florida) The coming out of his own daughter has not softened former Ambassador Alan Keyes' position on gays and same-sex marriage.
The conservative broadcaster and failed senate candidate delivered a scathing attack gay marriage at a Christian rally in St Augustine, Florida.
"Marriage exists in order to respect, recognize and enforce obligations that arise from the fact of procreation," Keyes said in his keynote address at ProFamily Rally 2005. (It's got nothing to do with love and respect for your partner? I mean, I'm just asking).
He then declared that heterosexual couples who choose not to have children do not hurt the institution, but a gay union would annihilate it.

Hey, check it out! Right here in the dictionary next to "Raving Lunatic Homophobe"...why, it's a picture of Alan Keyes!
He told the audience that allowing a judge to rule that same-sex couples can marry is a form of tyranny.

Umm. What? ~sigh~ Poor Bonk Jobs. And poor all-of-us for having to suffer the indignity of Keyes' existence. If only he understood how the judicial system worked. It's not tyranny for a judge to make a ruling according to the laws of the state/country. On the other hand, it is tyranny for the pResident to enact laws contrary to the best interest of the People by pResidential fiat -- I mean "Executive Order".
Keyes also said he does not see that there is a separation of church and state in the U.S. Constitution, noting that laws incorporate biblical values.

Right. Like the U.S. law banning worship of any god(s) other than Yahweh? Or the one which makes it illegal to go shopping on Sunday? Based on Biblical values, indeed.
Following Tuesday's speech in St Augustine Keyes refused to discuss his relationship with his own daughter.
Keyes' daughter came out last month at a Valentines Day demonstration in support of gay marriage in Maryland. (story)
It was Maya Marcel-Keyes first public appearance as a gay activist. Marcel-Keyes said her parents have thrown her out of the house, stopped speaking to her and refuse to pay for college because she is a lesbian.

Ah, yes. Family values! Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it?

Jesus Scented Candles

2005-03-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

Oh my gawd, this is too friggin' hilarious!

Jesus Scented Candles

I just gotta wonder aloud: what do they smell like? B.O.?? (Personal hygiene being what it was "back in the day"). Rotting flesh?? ("Hey, it's the scent of Jesus as 'he is risen!' "). Or, maybe, since the candle is called "His Essence", it's got a nice "protein" scent to it.
"It's a Messianic Psalm referring to when Christ returns and his garments will have the scent of myrrh, aloe and cassia," says Karen Tosterud.

Ah. I see. It's much more innocent than I had originally thought. Now...where's my box of Chocolate Jesuses? I've got me a hankerin' for some Easter candy!

Misplaced Punishment

2005-03-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

Video of Teacher's Outburst May Lead to Cell Phone Ban
BRICK -- The Board of Education may toughen its policy on use of wireless telephones in schools, after a videotape showing a Brick Township High School teacher screaming at his students to show respect for the national anthem — and then pulling the chair from underneath one student who refused to stand — was posted on several independent Web sites.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on! A student records a teacher verbally abusing his class and violating another student's right to not stand for the National Anthem, and the proper response is...to ban camera phones??? How about repremanding the teacher!
"We as a Board of Education realize that we are ushering a new era and will be forced to review our policies and perhaps enforce a more stringent districtwide policy regarding electronic recording devices in the classroom," Seidenberger added.

Well, in this era of government-controlled media filtering out the truth when it shines a light on the government's violation of human rights, a statement like the one quoted shouldn't surprise me. I guess it's not so much surprise, as it is outrage.
According to at least one Web site, students knew Mantel "was gonna go nuts because he frequently used to" over disrespect for the anthem, and that the students brought the camera into the classroom "to expose the teacher in case he did anything again."

Go to The Joker's Linkdump or MediaPickle and check out the video. The teacher goes absolutely ape-shit. Way over the line. Especially in light of the fact that the students have a right not to stand.

Will the Mystery Woman Please Step Forward?

2005-03-09T05:57:00.000-08:00

I love it when reporters dig. (Wish they'd do it with all things Bush related, though). From the New York Times...
The female executive whose romantic relationship with Harry C. Stonecipher led to his ouster this week as Boeing's chief executive has been identified as Debra Peabody, an employee in Washington who has been at Boeing for more than 20 years.
Ms. Peabody, whose identity was disclosed last night by BusinessWeek Online and confirmed by a company official, is a 48-year-old divorced executive who manages office operations for Boeing's chief Washington lobbyist, Rudy deLeon. She is a graduate of Ohio University and received an executive M.B.A. at the University of Washington, which featured her recently in a promotional brochure.

I guess, now that her identity has been revealed, she won't be having a career at Boeing any longer. Lew Platt said yesterday that her identity was being kept under wraps pending the outcome of the investigation into her involvement in the affair. Umm...I thought the outcome of the investigation into Harry concluded that the relationship was consensual. That would seem to indicate that she is as guilty as he. Except that, apparently, Harry wasn't fired for having an affair with an employee. He was fired for using company e-mail to send her explicit messages. So, I guess, if she didn't talk dirty back, she gets to stay? Well, probably not anymore, now that everyone knows who she is.

On a related note, I've lately been a bit irritated at the kid-glove treatment Harry's gotten. While I don't think it's anyone's business whether or not Harry was having an affair, if he (ab)used company resources in relation to that affair, he deserves what he got. The investigators say he didn't, so I'm no longer sure Harry deserved what he got, in spite of any personal feelings I may have for the guy. It's possible that Harry's ouster was a knee-jerk over reaction in an overly puritanical envorionment. However...if Boeing's board were trying to make a point, simply letting the guy walk seems a bit of a milquetoast reaction. Turns out Harry was about to be awarded a potential payout of something near $27 million in stocks for his performance in 2004 but needed to be employed by the company for a full year after the bonus was awarded. (Guess that explains why he was waiting until 2006 to retire...again). So, it turns out that he did lose something as a result of his "poor judgement". Still, I have a hard time feeling sorry for a multi-millionaire not getting another $27 million to heap on top of the tens (hundreds?) of millions he already has.

More on Harry

2005-03-07T11:06:00.000-08:00

From the Seattle Times...

"It's not the fact he was having an affair - that is not a violation of our code of conduct," the chairman (Lew Platt) said. As the company explored the circumstances surrounding the relationship, however, it discovered "some issues of poor judgment" that impaired Stonecipher's ability to lead the company, he said.

Umm...because boffing one of your employees isn't, in and of itself, a matter of poor judgement?
By accepting Boeing's request to resign, Stonecipher became entitled to what Platt called a "standard retirement package." Details were not disclosed.

Son of a bitch!!!! Harry gets shit-canned for violating Boeing's Code of Ethical Conduct and his punishment is...a full retirement package?? WTF?! I repeat: What...the...fuck...is wrong here? If I were fired for ethical violations, you can be damn sure I wouldn't be receiving any benefits package! This good-ol-boy, protect-the-rich-white-male-criminal system of doing business is absolute bullshit! If Harry sullied the good name (and I use the term extremely loosely) of Boeing, violated ethics, embarrassed the company and tarnished its ability to do business, why is he being rewarded? I say, yank his pension, revoke the company contributions to his 401K, kick him in the ass and maybe hold the door open as he's tossed through it.
The woman involved in the affair remains with the company, although Platt said "I don't know what she will decide to do."

Wait a tick. Did she not violate company ethics by engaging in this affair the same as Harry? Oh, wait...she's an executive, too. And probably not eligible for retirement yet, so they'll let her stick around until she can collect her full retirement benefit.
The tough-talking son of a Tennessee coal miner, Stonecipher had been credited with helping Boeing to clean up its ethical behavior and with improving its sullied reputation in Washington.

Hahahahaha. Oopsie! This is just too rich. If it weren't for the board giving Harry a nice handshake and a couple of boatloads of cash as a parting gift, I'd really be enjoying this whole thing.

From MSN Money...
"Harry ... was really the staunchest supporter of the code of conduct,'' Platt said.

Meaning what, exactly? That he supported ethical behavior or that he supported forcing all of us peons to sign a silly piece of paper that was supposed to make Boeing look like a company full of ethical people. I submit it was clearly the latter. It's all about appearances.

It's been said in a UK commentary piece regarding Harry getting sacked that we're to puritanical in this country (ya think?) and that Harry's ouster was a bit extreme. Now, I'm a pretty liberal guy and I wouldn't pass judgement on Harry for doing whatever he chooses to do in his private life. I don't care if he's having extra-marital sex. That's his and his wife's business, not mine. But, what pisses me off so much is the hypocrisy. First of him touting these high ethical standards (and then not adhering to them) and then the kid-glove treatment he's been given. To ram-rod a piece of paper called the "Code of Conduct", and our mandatory signatures on it, down our throats as the savior of the company's image and then pull this crap is just...it's just the height of hypocrisy.

Boeing CEO Canned for Ethics Violation

2005-03-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

That's right, in spite of him having signed his "Code of Conduct" which states that he understands and will adhere to Boeing's highest ethical standards, Harry was still doing a female executive. The following is from the e-mail I just received...
Over the weekend, the Board of Directors asked for and received Harry Stonecipher’s resignation as President and Chief Executive Officer.

Events that led to this action began 10 days ago, when General Counsel, Vice President of Ethics and I received anonymous information regarding a personal relationship between Harry and a female executive of the company. The board took this matter seriously and immediately instructed the General Counsel’s office to bring in outside counsel and lead a thorough inquiry into the facts. All parties cooperated fully and candidly with the inquiry, which determined that there is, in fact, such a relationship.
...the board holds the CEO to the highest of professional and personal standards. We concluded that the facts reflected poorly on Harry’s judgment and would impair his ability to lead the company forward. Finally, Harry’s actions were inconsistent with the Boeing Code of Conduct—specifically, the portion that states “Employees will not engage in conduct or activity that may raise questions as to the company’s honesty, impartiality, reputation or otherwise cause embarrassment to the company.”

The Code of Conduct system was supposed to be the be-all and end-all of Boeing's ethical violations; from the Lockheed proprietary data woes to the Mike Sears/Darleen Druyun scandal. I guess it wasn't such a great system after all. But then again, I could've told you that. In fact, I think I did. Let's see...where are the comments I submitted to my supervisor along with that Code of Conduct form I was forced into signing. Ah yes, here it is...

I would like to note that I am fully in support of adherence to ethical conduct by all employees, at every level of employment within the company. I believe it to be good not just for Boeing, but for the industry and country as well. Too many examples of unethical corporate conduct have come to light in the past several years throughout the nation for the issue to be ignored. (I was referring here to the Enron, Tyco, WorldComm, etc. scandals for which the heads responsible have yet to roll...I doubt they ever will). Having said that, I would like to point out the following:

An ethical employee will adhere to the best ethical practices of a company, which will likely coincide with their own moral guiding, regardless of any formal certification indicating so. Likewise, an unethical employee will sign the Code of Conduct but continue to engage in unethical practices just the same. There is no way to discern the ethical from the unethical based on a signature. Therefore, it proves little – aside from the fact that Boeing senior management is capable of forcing its subordinates into signing, under threat of corrective action and possible termination of employment -- to have employees sign a certification indicating their adherence to Boeing’s Code of Conduct; especially when considering the fact that policies and procedures currently exist which address issues of company ethics. It would seem to be a more genuine indicator, not to mention more “positive, caring, and personal” (I was quoting from paperwork which accompanied "the Code"), to have each employee certify their commitment to ethics voluntarily and not under threat of punishment.

The thrust of the matter is that talking the talk won’t get the job done. Stacks upon stacks of signed Code of Conduct Certification forms will not necessarily make Boeing an ethical company. Boeing will have to walk the walk, perhaps for quite a while, before customer confidence can be regained and the company can again be viewed as trustworthy and ethical. A pattern of ethical behavior is the only indicator of an
ethical company. The coming months, or years, will likely be a painful period of growth during which many may doubt, based on past performance, Boeing’s dedication to ethics. However, it will be necessary, and no amount of signed codes of conduct can change that fact.
In spite of my misgivings as to the benefit of the certification process or to the oppressive manner in which it was carried out, the following is my certification that I have read and understand the Boeing Code of Conduct, that to the best of my knowledge, I am in compliance with the Boeing Code of conduct, and that I will continue to comply with the Boeing Code of Conduct.

Turns out I was right in feeling that us being forced to sign this redundant piece of paper was a complete waste of time and money. (By accepting employment here, we default to accepting the terms of employment, which include an ethical code, the violation of which could result in termination...so what was the point of yearly renewal other than a transparent song and dance?) Harry signed the same damned form we all did...two years in a row. And still, he conducted himself in an unethical manner. Gee, who woulda thought? At the risk of sounding way full of myself, I just have to say, "Damn, it feels great to be right". Now we just need for the Bush maladministration to implode and for everyone to finally see them for the self-serving, manipulative cabal of criminals that they are.

No Warrior Left Untapped

2005-03-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

Stricter Limits Sought on Military's Access to High Schools

The No Child Left Behind Act approved by Congress in 2001 requires school districts to provide military recruiters with the same access to high schools given to college or job recruiters.

Oh, so THAT's what "No Child Left Behind" means. (Without adequate funding, it certainly didn't mean that every child would be properly educated). Apparently, it means that when Busholini marches his army off to war, he wants to make sure that no cannon fodder -- er, "child" -- is left behind, safe and sound at home. No way you can take over the world without throwing every 18 year-old you have at the battle.

Under the current law, parents must tell school officials they don't want their child contacted by the military, at school or home. Otherwise, schools are required to turn over students' names, addresses and phone numbers to Pentagon recruiters. (San Jose Democratic Rep. Mike) Honda wants to turn that around, and allow the military to talk only to those students whose parents approve such contact.

But Thomas Donnelly, military analyst at the American Enterprise Institute (an unabashedly hawkish neo-con think tank), said Honda's proposal is "really stupid. It's going nowhere, and even if it did, it would face a tough constitutional challenge.''

Yes..."really stupid" to protect our children from these vultures. They're worse than the sleaziest used-car salesman. They're not just selling you a rusted old heap which they swear is a gem, they're selling death! And what constitutional challenge would there be? Congress is charged with raising a military, but it has no explicit right to do so in public high schools. Besides, Honda's measure wouldn't block recruiters from access to high school students, it would just block unsolicted recruiting. Think of the proposed legislation this way: telemarketing is merely a nuissance, but we got the "do not call" list enacted. These recruiters are way worse than telemarketers. We're talking about childrens' lives. They should be protected at least as well as our peaceful evenings.

"It's not like the military heavily targets San Francisco,''

(San Francisco school board President) Mar said. "They know we are wary of military recruiters,'' because of widespread anti- war sentiment in the city and because of the military's "don't ask, don't tell'' policy that has led to the dismissal of gays and lesbians from the military.I'll bet there's more to it than even that. I'd wager that the military recruiters more heavily target, areas in which the standard of living is lower than, say, San Fransisco. Economically depressed youth have less incentive to say no to the military. For many poor children, the military is the "only way out".

"Face it, war is a young person's game,'' said Donnelly.

Actually, war is an old man's game. It's just the young people's job to die. Which, I suppose, is why Republicans will be so up-in-arms over their access to potential soldiers being cut off.

Church/State Entanglements

2005-03-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

Bush Says Religious Beliefs Should Figure in Charity Jobs

However...

Administration officials say that some religious charities have been dissuaded from applying for federal grants out of fear that they would lose their religious identities in having to comply with civil rights laws that prevent discrimination in hiring.

You see what happens when church and state aren't kept separate? It isn't just about stopping religious fantasy from influencing government policy (although that's my main concern). It has just as much to do with the government -- i.e. all of us, some of whom adhere to different religious views -- forcing churches to do things that contradict their charter. Things like hiring people to work for them who aren't devoted to the same deity.
"One of the key reasons why many faith-based groups are so effective is a commitment to serve that is grounded in the shared values and religious identity of their volunteers and employees," Bush said. "In other words, effectiveness happens because people who share a faith show up to help a particular organization based on that faith to succeed."
What about those whose commitment to serve is grounded in the shared value of humanitarian compassion? I suppose Pope Bush the Worst thinks there aren't any Atheists who care about their fellow humankind?? Nice. Real nice.

Under the initiative, the administration has encouraged federal agencies to funnel more money to religious organizations that Bush says often perform social services more effectively than the government.

According to Bush, religious organizations perform social services more effectively than the government (faith-based initiatives) and Joe America can invest his retirement funds more effectively than the government (Social Security deform…no, it's not a typo) and polluting industries can better protect the environment than the government ("Clear Skies"/"Healthy Forests" initiatives). What is the government effective at, you ask? Judging from the past 4 years, we can gather that the government is good at failing to protect us, bombing the fuck out of brown people as some sort of macho justification for failing to secure us in the first place, and emptying the government coffers into the hands of rich, white men. What an effective government we have! Sure am proud to be an American. Let's hear it for the Red, White & Blue! Give Ol' Glory a wave! ...or something.

Move Over Hummer

2005-02-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

Soul-crushingly depressing? Or laugh-out-loud ridiculous? Yes.

"Bad Boy" Truck Dwarfs Hummer

The East Texas company aims to market the machine to civilians with disposable cash and a hankering for more protection from the outside world.

Wait, I'm getting an image of their target demographic. White. Male. Middle-aged but with the mentality of a 19-year old frat boy. More money than he or all of his inbred family needs or deserves. Homophobic but probably gay himself. Abmornally small penis. Overinflated sense of self-worth. That about cover it?

For $750,000, buyers can get the fully loaded "NBC" version that can, Ayres said, detect and block out fallout from nuclear, biological and chemical weapons by over-pressurizing the cab with filtered, clean air much like an aircraft.
Ayres said he isn't playing on post-Sept. 11 fears by offering the NBC option.
Of course he is! Is Jeff Gannon -- er, James Guckert -- a gay male prostitute whoring himself out (pun very much intended) as a shill for the Bush administration? Of course! Is the Bush maladmin playing on post-Sept. 11 fears in order to ramrod its fascist agenda? Absolutely!

"There's a certain group of people who color outside the box," (one guess as to which color it is; here's a clue: it rhymes with 'nog') Ayres said, and if they want to escape a city targeted by terrorists with dirty bombs or biological agents, "this is the truck for them."

Escaping a city targeted by terrorists? What universe does this guy live in where this is a necessary civilian vehicle??
Possible Bad Boy customers include ranchers, sports enthusiasts and possibly CEOs who need to travel through unfriendly areas, Ayres said.
What the hell??

Both the Hummer H1 and the Bad Boy began as military vehicles, and retain that look. On the ceiling of the Bad Boy cab is a mirror, lined by red lights. (Pimpin'!!) That's a turret for soldiers with guns in the military version, but "that's not an option we're offering" in the civilian version, Ayres said.

What??! Why not? Pansy, liberal prick! Think of the ranchers! Think of the "sportsmen"! They're GOING to need a .50 cal mounted to their turret!

Mommy, what does "pervasive" mean?

2005-02-16T11:52:00.000-08:00

No Compromise

Colorado Christian University (CCU), a 1,600-student school near Denver, filed a lawsuit in federal court in December. The suit challenges the state's designation of the school as "pervasively sectarian" -- making its students ineligible for the College Opportunity Fund.
CCU president Larry Donnithorne said, "This is discrimination on the basis of religion. The First Amendment rights of our students are being violated."

Nothing quite like idiots misunderestimating the 1st amendment. "We have a RIGHT to get free money from the gummint so that we can indoctrinate the masses into our fairy tale!" Sadly (for them) no. The 1st amendment doesn't guarantee students the right to government subsidies so that they can go to Christian schools. It guarantees that they can go to a Christian school, if they so choose, neither hindered, nor helped by the government.

The nondenominational university contends that it is actually less "sectarian" in many respects than is Regis University, a Jesuit college in Denver. Regis passed the eligibility test. Naropa University, a Buddhist school in Boulder, has also qualified for other state assistance.
However, Donnithorne acknowledged that Regis made concessions to pass the test -- such as teaching other religions, hiring non-Christians, and making chapel services optional.
In other words, CCU teaches nothing but Christianity, hires only Christians, and requires students to attend Christian chapel services as part of the curriculum. Geeze, for the life of me, I just can't understand how that could ever be construed as pervasively sectarian!

Poor, Coddled Athletes...Boo-friggin'-hoo

2005-02-03T11:52:00.000-08:00

I expected to get irritated over the ridiculousness of religion in sports (and I did) reported in this piece, but what blew me away was the following:
DuPree was hired by the organization Nov. 1 as part of the NBA's four-year-old development program helping players make the transition to the fast-paced, big-money league.
DuPree, 42, envisions the program as a trust-based outlet where a player can come to him with any issue and receive assistance. So far, he has helped rookies Damien Wilkins and Robert Swift find cars and set up bank accounts.

All I can come up with is, "WTF?!?". These pampered athletes -- who make a league minimum of $367,000 a year -- need a program to help them transition from not having money to having money? WHAT...THE...FUCK!!???? They don't know that, in order to "find cars", they need to go to a dealership? Or that, to set up a bank account, one finds a bank, walks in, and talks with a teller or financial advisor? If they can't figure these things out, perhaps they're not worth $367,000 a year!!! I just can't believe this. There are literally billions of people on the planet who make substantially less than these spoiled brat athletes and yet hundreds of millions of them somehow manage to start a bank account and buy a damned car.

A program to help the knuckle-draggers "transition" to the big-moneyed world. I can't fucking believe it.

...But Seriously, Folks

2005-01-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

Preachers Warned Not to Tell Jokes

Umm...okay?

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." -- Voltaire

Sticker for One, Sticker for All

2005-01-31T11:10:00.000-08:00

If you're going to require a sticker in one text book, you really ought to have one in them all. Some suggestions follow.

Sticker Shock

Bush Still Out of Touch with Reality

2005-01-27T11:06:00.000-08:00

Bush Asks Patience From U.S. on Iraq War

Unwavering in the course he has set, Bush pledged: "We'll have the troop levels necessary to complete the mission. And that mission is to enable Iraq to defend herself from terrorists — homegrown or terrorists that come in from outside of the country." He made clear that Iraq is nowhere near ready to handle its own security, and he talked about U.S. involvement over the next year.

For the upcoming elections in Iraq to have any meaning at all, complete control over the country must be handed over to whomever wins the election. After Sunday, it shouldn't be the U.S.'s call to make whether or not Iraq is ready to handle its own security. Obviously, if Iraq isn't ready to take care of itself, it isn't ready for an election. Thanks for imposing an arbitrary deadline, George.

(Bush) recognizes that some people are worried about the political risks and financial costs of overhauling Social Security by creating private investment accounts — a step that could cost $1 trillion to $2 trillion in transition costs. "What you're hearing a little bit is whether or not it is worth the political price. I think it is," he said.

The only people who care about the political cost of anything are politicians. The people who will be affected by demolishing soc sec couldn't probably care less about the political costs. They care about the actual financial costs!

In an interview with the Dubai-based satellite channel Al-Arabiya, Bush said U.S. forces will remain in Iraq as long as necessary to ensure Iraq's security. "But that mission must be completed. (Accomplished? Did someone say 'mission accomplished'? No? Oh, okay then.) ... I've heard talk that we are occupiers," he said. "No, the United States and our troops and our coalition are there to help the Iraqi citizens."

Geeze, I'd really hate for reality to intrude on Bush's little fantasy, but yes...yes the United States and its troops ARE occupiers.
He said he lacked details about the helicopter crash in Iraq's western desert.

That's because he's a moron who can't be bothered to concern himself with the deaths of the very people he sent off to war. The simple truth is, he doesn't care. If he were to be honest about it, he'd say the price is worth it. What's a few more dead soldiers? They were more than likely brown-skinned or poor anyway. They're expendable.

Asked what would be a credible turnout, Bush pronounced the elections (in Iraq) a success even before they happen.

"The fact that they're voting, in itself, is successful," he said.

WTF?? Isn't there a little more to it than that? Oh, wait. No. I guess not. "They voted. All eight of them. Of course, their votes weren't counted and we installed who we wanted regardless of the will of those who braved death to get to a polling station. But it was a success."
Bush said he is leading the United States toward an honorable goal — in Iraq and across the world. "I firmly planted the flag of liberty," he said.

Bwahahahahaha! Yeah. As deep in the collective ass of Iraq as he could possibly get it. Oh, and it wasn't exactly the flag of liberty. It was the stars and stripes. Close enough, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so, either.

Oh, so THAT'S how Democracy works!

2005-01-27T05:46:00.000-08:00

Bush's Almanac

Out of fear, most of the candidates who have filed to run for the (Iraqi) national assembly will not identify themselves publicly; they simply name the party slate they're running on. Many have stopped campaigning. One campaign leaflet, for the United Iraqi Alliance, gave the names of 37 of its candidates but withheld 188 others. "Our apologies," the flyer read, "for not mentioning the names of all the candidates. But the security situation is bad, and we have to keep them alive."

Even the international observers for this election have taken the unusual step of staying out of Iraq-they'll be doing their monitoring from Jordan.

Ah yes…free and democratic elections! Ladies and gentlemen! I give you the success of the American campaign in Iraq!