When Reality Shows Attack

Atheism is (or would be, if we lived in an intelligent society) a pretty benign stance to take. It's not a whole lot unlike a-Zeusism, or a-unicornism, or a-teapot-in-space-ism. I almost never feel compelled to bring up the fact that I don't believe there is a family of purple howler monkeys living in my colon, so why should we treat not believing in something that's just as unlikely to be real any differently.

Not sure why I said that, but it must've had something to do with this. A friend of mine brought it to my attention. I really wish she hadn’t.

I have so many reactions to it, not the least of which is a strange kind of nausea, that I'm not sure how to get them all out. I think I’d rather have someone reach into my body and rip out my spine than watch that again. I couldn’t even take it all in one sitting.

I’m embarrassed to be in the same species as her – wait, is she in the same species?? Can’t be. The way she was screeching, I swear she's the demented demon-spawn brought forth by the unholy union of a harpie and Jerry Falwell.

I mean, I know I should feel sorry for the mentally deranged, but…somehow she doesn’t come anywhere near deserving it. I mean, Christ on a Crapper, what the fuck is wrong with her??

Maybe you guys can just gawk and laugh at displays of lunacy and human disgrace like that, but it seriously fucks with my mind. I can’t… I mean… What the fuck!? What could possibly make a person think that behaving like that was in any way normal or acceptable? Especially knowing that there was an entire television crew there to record it for playback to the entire country! And you know what frustrates me even more than the boil on the face of humanity that is that woman? That a majority of the people in this country empathize with her.

Wait…is she saying “dork-sided”?? Oh, no…dark sided. And “terra” cards? What the fuck is a terra card? If she’s been listening to the pretzeldent – and I’m sure she has…she certainly seems like his kind o’ constit'ent– these “terra” cards must have something to do with al Qaeda, right? Okay, so “terra” card is kind of funny. It’s a little bit funny that the ability to pronounce words has been in-bred right the fuck out of her. No, actually, even that’s not funny, it’s just sad for all of us with even a remote sense of dignity. Sorry…I tried to laugh at some part of it. But it’s just disturbing. Can someone please tell me it was all an act? I really need for that not to have been real. Crap. If only I didn’t know better, I could convince myself that it was just a ratings put-on. But then that would be just as disturbing: that enough people in this country feed off of that kind of crap that a creator would make it up to sell advertising time.

How can that woman be so retarded? No, not retarded. To consider that woman retarded is to belittle mentally challenged people and I certainly don’t mean to do that. How do you describe a person who behaves in such a way as to not even really qualify as human? Hell, I can't even think of a lower life form that would embarrass itself with such a display.

Those poor kids. How terrible for them. Having your mom behave like that can seriously fuck you up! Would you want to show your face in school the day after that aired?? I doubt there's enough therapy in the world to un-screw a kid's psyche after being raised by a woman like that. You see the look on the youngest girl's face? She looked like, "Daddy, why is there a beast in our house and how did it learn to speak??!”

And after that whole act about the money being tainted by the dark-side (Are you there, Darth? It’s me, Margaret) and tearing up the check, she took the money anyway. I think the husband should've taken it and spent it on therapy for their kids.

Ignoring the complete lack of any kind of integrity or courage of conviction (I guess the train of thought was, "This money is tainted by the dark side but what the hell, Tiny Baby Jesus TM would want me to get my gastric bypass"), this woman is the epitome of what makes me hold provincial Christianity in such low regard. It breeds ignorance and a kind of self-righteousness that is way off the scale of baseless self-righteousness. I’m not even concerned, at the moment, with the lack of merit inherent to the Christian theological philosophy. I’m talking about loathing people like this woman; and the people on the planet who foster an environment in which this woman could exist without being splashed right out of the gene pool on a tidal wave of "what the fuck was mother nature thinking?". In this case, I guess it's not even about dogma of imaginary friends. It’s more likely that I’m just an elitist. I hate stupid people. And that woman is s-t-u-p-i-d. Stupid with a capital "look at me!".