War on Christians Conference Opens Today; Conference to Include a Values Voter Presidential Preference Poll

No, I'm pretty sure it's not a joke. All Fools' Day isn't until Saturday. (Hey...doesn't All Fools' Day really fall on a Sunday? And not just once a year, but every Sunday? In any case...) Apparently, the conference will include a "Values Voter" presidential preference poll. So, umm...anyone not feeling a false sense of persecution apparently has no values. Neat!

So, this "war", these "assaults" on Christians...there's not been much (any) bloodshed. I hope the Pretzeldent attends...and learns something about waging war on an abstract concept (terror, for instance) without shedding blood.

Panel discussions will include: "Christian Persecution:

...A Primer in the Delusional Martyr Complex"

"Jews Confront The War On Christians:

...Damned Right We Killed Him!"

"Hollywood:

...No One's Allowed to Talk About Us Except Mel 'Bloodlust' Gibson"

"The Judiciary: Overruling God"

I totally didn't even make that one up! No, seriously! They honestly think that they're god is so weak and defenseless that he can simply be overruled by mortals! I don't know why they follow this guy; or pray to him for help. He can't even help himself!

And the final panel discussion listed is:

"Taking Our Faith To The Ballot Box."

Judging (oops, I mean Judicial Activising) from past elections, I suggest they try taking a sentient person whose life and views are based more in reality to hold their hand and tell them how to vote. Being the giving, caring guy that I am, I'll volunteer to be that person.

Keynote Speakers include such Values Vote leaders as Phyllis Schlafly, Vision America President Rick Scarborough, Gary Bauer, Alan Keyes, Janet Folger, Congressman Tom DeLay, Janet Parshall, Sen. John Cornyn and Sen. Sam Brownback.

Oh, Jesus.

Scarborough continued: "The Republican Party often takes the Values Vote for granted. They court us as elections approach and forget us as soon as they're over. And we fall into line. Well, I'm here to tell you that those days are rapidly drawing to a close."

Really??! So the Moron -- err, "Values" -- Vote is going to stop voting Republican? Oh please oh please oh please oh please!