Big Brother is Recruiting

The Great Cannon Fodder Hunt

WASHINGTON — The Defense Department yesterday began working with a private marketing firm to create a database of all U.S. college students as well as high-school students between ages 16 and 18, to help the military identify potential recruits in a time of dwindling enlistment.The program is provoking a furor among privacy advocates. The new database will include an array of personal information including birth dates, Social Security numbers, e-mail addresses, grade-point averages, ethnicity and what subjects the students are studying.

What? No category for income? But that's the most important one! Everybody knows it's the poor kids that are the easiest to recruit. There really only need be three categories: race, income, and GPA. If you're a poor minority of less than average intelligence or ambition, BushCo wants you to go fight its wars of aggression.

The Pentagon's statements added that anyone can "opt out" of the system by providing detailed personal information that will be kept in a separate "suppression file."

Just to clarify, the system works like this: If you don't want your personal information kept in a national database, all you have to do is provide your personal information to be kept in a national database. Why, it's ingenious!