...But Seriously, Folks

Preachers Warned Not to Tell Jokes

Umm...okay?

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." -- Voltaire

Sticker for One, Sticker for All

If you're going to require a sticker in one text book, you really ought to have one in them all. Some suggestions follow.

Sticker Shock

Bush Still Out of Touch with Reality

Bush Asks Patience From U.S. on Iraq War

Unwavering in the course he has set, Bush pledged: "We'll have the troop levels necessary to complete the mission. And that mission is to enable Iraq to defend herself from terrorists — homegrown or terrorists that come in from outside of the country." He made clear that Iraq is nowhere near ready to handle its own security, and he talked about U.S. involvement over the next year.

For the upcoming elections in Iraq to have any meaning at all, complete control over the country must be handed over to whomever wins the election. After Sunday, it shouldn't be the U.S.'s call to make whether or not Iraq is ready to handle its own security. Obviously, if Iraq isn't ready to take care of itself, it isn't ready for an election. Thanks for imposing an arbitrary deadline, George.

(Bush) recognizes that some people are worried about the political risks and financial costs of overhauling Social Security by creating private investment accounts — a step that could cost $1 trillion to $2 trillion in transition costs. "What you're hearing a little bit is whether or not it is worth the political price. I think it is," he said.

The only people who care about the political cost of anything are politicians. The people who will be affected by demolishing soc sec couldn't probably care less about the political costs. They care about the actual financial costs!

In an interview with the Dubai-based satellite channel Al-Arabiya, Bush said U.S. forces will remain in Iraq as long as necessary to ensure Iraq's security. "But that mission must be completed. (Accomplished? Did someone say 'mission accomplished'? No? Oh, okay then.) ... I've heard talk that we are occupiers," he said. "No, the United States and our troops and our coalition are there to help the Iraqi citizens."

Geeze, I'd really hate for reality to intrude on Bush's little fantasy, but yes...yes the United States and its troops ARE occupiers.

He said he lacked details about the helicopter crash in Iraq's western desert.

That's because he's a moron who can't be bothered to concern himself with the deaths of the very people he sent off to war. The simple truth is, he doesn't care. If he were to be honest about it, he'd say the price is worth it. What's a few more dead soldiers? They were more than likely brown-skinned or poor anyway. They're expendable.

Asked what would be a credible turnout, Bush pronounced the elections (in Iraq) a success even before they happen.

"The fact that they're voting, in itself, is successful," he said.

WTF?? Isn't there a little more to it than that? Oh, wait. No. I guess not. "They voted. All eight of them. Of course, their votes weren't counted and we installed who we wanted regardless of the will of those who braved death to get to a polling station. But it was a success."

Bush said he is leading the United States toward an honorable goal — in Iraq and across the world. "I firmly planted the flag of liberty," he said.

Bwahahahahaha! Yeah. As deep in the collective ass of Iraq as he could possibly get it. Oh, and it wasn't exactly the flag of liberty. It was the stars and stripes. Close enough, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so, either.

Oh, so THAT'S how Democracy works!

Bush's Almanac

Out of fear, most of the candidates who have filed to run for the (Iraqi) national assembly will not identify themselves publicly; they simply name the party slate they're running on. Many have stopped campaigning. One campaign leaflet, for the United Iraqi Alliance, gave the names of 37 of its candidates but withheld 188 others. "Our apologies," the flyer read, "for not mentioning the names of all the candidates. But the security situation is bad, and we have to keep them alive."

Even the international observers for this election have taken the unusual step of staying out of Iraq-they'll be doing their monitoring from Jordan.

Ah yes…free and democratic elections! Ladies and gentlemen! I give you the success of the American campaign in Iraq!

Ship of Fools: Privatization of Social Securty...It's for the Slaves!...erm, We Mean "Negroes"...uhh Blacks...whatever

Bush Shifts Focus to Race in Debate on Social Security

WASHINGTON - Race became a significant factor in the debate over Social Security on Tuesday as President Bush told African American leaders that the government retirement program shortchanged blacks, whose relatively shorter lifespan meant that they paid more in payroll taxes than they eventually received in benefits.

What the hell does the shorter life-span of blacks have to do with the justification of privatized social security? Abso-frickin-lutely nothing. Not a gawd damned thing. It's just another item on the list of lame attempts at getting popular support for allowing George to give still more of OUR money to his crony handlers.

If George was really all that concerned with making social security benefits more fair for blacks with shorter life spans than whites, he'd propose a lower retirement age for blacks. That would be the logical solution to a problem of "the government retirement program shortchanging blacks, whose relatively shorter lifespan means that they pay more in payroll taxes than they eventually receive in benefits." But what about all people with short life spans? What about those with a high genetic risk for cancer? Or heart disease? Or high cholesterol? Is it fair to them to pay into soc sec when they may never live to receive any benefits? And how about men? Men have a relatively shorter lifespan than women! Shouldn't some accounting be made for that? (I'm being facetious, of course. To a point, I hope).

Shit. What kind of morons does King George the Worst take us for, anyway? Oh. That's right. We're 'Muricuns. Stupid is as stupid does. 'Muricuns are just stupid enough to believe any old excuse the Boy pResident gives them for "fixing" a system in "crisis". Wouldn't lowering the retirement age of the "life span challenged" be a better solution to the "problem" of some people not living as long as others? Wouldn't better health care, that is to say "some", for everyone (including -- brace yourself -- low/no-income minorities such as blacks) be an even better solution, yet? Yes, but don't tell the 'Muricuns. They think their pResident has a brain in his head and that his idea for privatizing soc sec is a good one.

Bush's comments came during a private White House meeting with 22 black religious and business leaders who backed his reelection last year - marking a new line of argument in his attempts to win support for adding worker-owned investment accounts to Social Security.

The conversation demonstrated the White House's determination to build on outreach efforts to blacks that proved effective in battleground states last year...

What it actually demonstrates is the ridiculous lengths to which the White House will go to get yet another reckless corpwhoreate boondoggle rammed into existence. Hell, this isn't even a race issue. It's a poverty issue!

Also Tuesday, Republican Senate leaders meeting with Bush at the White House urged him to move cautiously on Social Security, citing the political dangers of tinkering with the program ahead of competitive congressional campaigns next year.

I love it! In other words, "Please, suh…we know that you don't have to worry about re-election and can destroy everything in sight with reckless abandon, but the citizens don't want their soc sec bennies to disappear and we know they'll rightly blame us if they do. So, please, suh, leave it alone. We're afraid this might rouse the people from their stupor and lead to our ouster in two years".

Bonk Job Misunderstands "Critical Thinking"

Is encouraging critical thinking unconstitutional?

No, but teaching religious dogma as if it were science is.

The sticker states: "This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered."

And, of course, the Fundies have a problem with evolution. Know what I have a problem with? Parading fantasy around as if it were reality. I'd like to see all Bibles contain a sticker stating, "This book contains myths, fairy tales, legends, and moral lessons based loosely on events which could have happened but, just as likely, didn't. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered". Can you imagine?

Judge Cooper continued with his explanation for finding an Establishment Clause violation: "evolution is more than a theory of origin in the context of science. To the contrary, evolution is the dominant scientific theory of origin accepted by the majority of scientists."

Well, there we have it. Scientific "truth" by majority rule.

Bzzdt. Wrong. It's scientific truth by peer reviewed scientific scrutiny. Scientific theories pass muster not based on a majority rule vote, but by scientific review which, apparently, looks like a simple vote of opinion to a slack-jawed Bonk Job.

Christian "fundamentalists" and "creationists" make for convenient whipping boys in lieu of reasoned analysis, even when they are calling for an open mind in scientific inquiry.

That's an interesting statement given the amazing lack of open mindedness and reasoned analysis prevalent in Christianity.

The theory of evolution has far too long been shielded from critical examination.

Thus sayeth the Bonk Job. Of course, what they say and the truth of reality aren't always (often?) coincident. The theory of evolution has been exposed to (and weathered) critical examination -- by scientists, no less! -- since it's inception. That's not to say that it won't ever change or even, one day, be thrown out altogether for a better scientific theory, but hey...that's how science works.

Flew wrote that biologists' investigation of DNA "has shown, by the almost unbelievable complexity of the arrangements which are needed to produce [life], that intelligence must have been involved."

I love this argument. It's akin to saying that, due to the astronomical odds against winning the lottery, those who have won it, in fact, cheated.

Students must be allowed to think for themselves about this important matter of life's origin. Cobb County's disclaimer was a welcome step in that direction.

Because students -- not scientists -- are the experts on the matter? Come on now. If there's one thing that school should be intended to do, it should be to teach students to be critical thinkers. Still, they're not experts, so to propose that the final decision be left to them is to misunderstand the role that real experts play. And to undermine scientific theory in favor of religious fantasy is hardly a step in the direction of teaching students the skills of critical thought.

If the federal judiciary is really interested in academic and intellectual freedom as cases not involving "creationists" and "fundamentalists" would suggest, it is time for them to stop crusading against critical thinking simply because "fundamentalists" and "creationists" are for it.

What the Bonk Jobs fail to understand is that it is precisely in the interest of critical thought that the judiciary has banned the warning labels on science books.

It's a terrible case of the pot calling the kettle black for Christians, who've waged a crusade against critical thought for the past 2 millenia, to criticize anyone -- especially a group as reknowned for critical thought as scientists -- of blocking criticism.

Bush Smirks, the World Cowers

World Fears New Bush Era

What? In spite of how democratic and humanitarian we are?? Well I just can't imagine! I'm simply taken aback by this new information. Or, more likely, I'm not.

Mr Blair said that, as part of a learning process that began with the invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001, the US administration had reached the conclusion that "in the end, we can take security and military measures against terrorism but... the best prospect of peaceful coexistence lies in the spread of democracy and human rights".

That's an interesting statement, considering the jack-boot-style plodding across the Middle East the US has perpetrated. I wonder if Iraqis (the ones still alive, that is) are enjoying the democracy and human rights that have been brought to them by the US.

Mr Bush also proclaimed his inauguration as "a sign of hope for freedom-loving people everywhere".

If EVER there was a better example of someone completely out of touch with reality, I don't know what it would be. Not to mention the audacity and sheer arrogance it takes for a person as incompetent and destructive as Bush to make such a proclamation.

Aware of the damage that has been done to America's reputation over the war in Iraq and the Kyoto protocol on global warming, the new secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, whose appointment was confirmed by the Senate yesterday, promised to try to repair relations with France, Germany and other countries bruised during the first term.

Provided, of course, that they change their evil, evil ways and back us in our quest for global domination.

Mr Bush's victory was viewed positively in only three of the 21 countries: the Philippines, Poland and India.

I know what you're thinking. But in this situation, it just wouldn't be funny to make fun of the Poles. Especially given how outrageous it is to even conceive that Bush could ever get elected after the debacle that was his first term. Think Pollock jokes are funny? We've just elected the least intelligent, most dangerous president in US history. Ha-ha! Frickin' hilarious! Who's stupid now?

Asked how Mr Bush's re-election had affected their feelings towards Americans, 72% of those polled in Turkey said it made them feel worse about Americans, 65% in France, 59% in Brazil and 56% in Germany.

Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Thanks, you half-wit fuck-tard. It's hard enough to put forth a good image when so many US citizens are knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers. Now, more of the world is positive we're nothing BUT greedy, war-mongering imbeciles.

A separate poll, for the Los Angeles Times, shows Americans are also polarised over the prospect of a second term...

Umm...ya think?? With only 51% of the voters favoring Bush, did you really need a poll to tell you that? What the hell did they think the election was, if not a poll indicating our view on the prospect of a second Bush term?

If only we could wake from this terrible nightmare.

Bonk Jobs with Money

In the beginning...

Other exhibits include images of Adam and Eve, a model of Noah's Ark and a planetarium demonstrating how God made the Earth in six days.

I'd like to know if the Ark will be to scale. Also, what the scale is. I imagine it'd have to be something on the order of one one-gajazillionth.

He said that his aim was to use tourism, and the theme park's striking exhibits, to convert more people to the view that the world and its creatures, including dinosaurs, were created by God 6,000 years ago.

Might I suggest that more success would be had by using psychotropic drugs to convince others of the reality of something completely absurd?

"We want people to be confronted by the dinosaurs," said Mr Ham. "It's going to be a first class experience. Visitors are going to be hit by the professionalism of this place. It is not going to be done in an amateurish way. We are making a statement."

And that statement would be...? "We've got money and we're not afraid to waste it"!

Mr Ham is particularly proud of a planned reconstruction of the interior of Noah's Ark. "You will hear the water lapping, feel the Ark rocking and perhaps even hear people outside screaming," he said.

Oh, what joy!

Other exhibits in the museum will blame homosexuals for Aids. In a "Bible Authority Room" visitors are warned: "Everyone who rejects his history – including six-day creation and Noah's flood – is `wilfully' ignorant.''

Bonk Jobs as experts on wilfull ignorance. Yeah. That sounds about right.

The Baptist Press Weighs in on God's Hand in the Tsunami

God & The Tsunami

The challenge to the Christian faith is clear, even as it is often crudely put forth by secular critics. If God is both omnipotent and benevolent, how can disasters like this (tsunami) happen?

Alright! Finally...we're about to get down to it!

A faithful Christian response will affirm the true character and power of God -- His omnipotence and His benevolence. God is in control of the entire universe, and there is not even a single atom outside His sovereignty. And God's goodness and love are beyond question. The Bible leaves no room for equivocation on either truth.

Alas, a forthright answer was not to be. It would seem that God's simultaneous, mutually exclusive and ever-competing characteristics of omnipotence and omnibenevolence remain at odds. (In other words, God still doesn't exist). Just shut up and keep going to church. Quit asking questions, ye of little faith.

Playboy lets me down

The latest issue of Playboy has, as its interview, an article on country singer Toby Keith. Well…I guess that by interviewing a knuckle dragging, jingoistic, kill-'em-all-let-God-sort-'em-out Patriot^TM, Playboy is trying to stay controversial. Apparently, naked women ceased being controversial some time ago -- no idea why it ever was, though -- so Playboy has decided that giving even more limelight to someone who should've fizzled out with all the other dim-bulb rednecks is the way to sell copies and keep subscriptions.

Anyway, my first reaction to seeing that Playboy had published an interview with Keith was to rip the pages out and ceremonially burn them. Then the sub title to the article caught my eye. Something about many people being surprised to learn that Keith is, in fact, a Democrat. Yes, I would indeed be surprised to learn this, especially given Keith's "American boot up the ass of anyone in the world who dares challenge us" attitude. So I started to read the interview. That's when I learned that Keith isn't a Democrat in the actual sense of the word, but that he's a Zell Miller Democrat. That is to say, basically more vile than most Republicans, which is no easy feat given the wretchedly über-patriotic, hyper-religious state of neo-conservatism these days. If I believed in the devil, I'd say he was incarnated as Zell Miller; and Toby Keith was his cheerleader. Obviously, a flaming liberal such as myself couldn't stomach any more of the article. Regardless of how badly I wish I was emotionless enough to objectively read the interview without wanting to put my head through the TV screen, I couldn't do it. Maybe I'll try later. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised to find out that my knee-jerk reaction to the first page or so of the article was wrong. But for now, it's probably best for my rage to simply skip the interview and look at the pretty pictures.

And speaking of skipping articles, I wish I had skipped the one on the Mexican sweat-shops. I was expecting a hard-hitting exposé on the squalid conditions and sub-human treatment of Mexican workers and for the evil corpwhoreations to be brought down by the author of the piece. Instead, I wasted a half-hour of my life reading about speculations and unsubstantiated hearsay; about a so-called investigative reporter who could do no better than conclude that, well, he couldn't really find anything wrong with the factories even though he was pretty sure they weren't good for the workers. Hey, thanks, genius! Next time you're too lazy to actually dig into the issue and find something, maybe you could just sum up, in about a paragraph's worth of text, the rumors about how bad the big businesses treat their Mexican workers? Had to waste my time stroking your own literary ego with an entire article, didn't you! Nothing like blathering on for thousands of words only to leave your reader no better informed than s/he was when s/he began the article. And what editor decided that this would make good copy?

I really ought to just stick to the pictures.

Buzzwords, Bullshit and Business as Usual

Just a little snapshot of some of the ridiculousness we put up with here at my place of work...

From an e-mail sent out by the site Director of Engineering:

For the December 6th Gemba walk (Gemba -- a ridiculous sounding buzz-word [or is it just me who thinks it sounds ridiculous] that management likes to use, to which the definition has been assigned: "go to the place where work is done"), I went to visit our hardworking team members in the (descriptive names and locations removed to protect the guilty...namely me, for biting the hand that feeds me...or does everyone do that?) group.

Already, I'm pissed off by the blatant patronizing. "Hardworking team members", indeed. How the hell would he know? The only time he can be bothered to see these people face-to-face is when he's out on one of his boondoggle "Gemba walks". Maybe that's unfair of me. I'm sure he has plenty of things he does which prevents him from interacting much with the workers.

Before we started the walk, I was asked a question: "What is the point of your Gemba walks and what do you want to see?" My answer is quite simple. I am interested in what your groups are doing to engage each other and utilize lean principles and tools to drive improvement.

That's a simple answer?? I don't know about anyone else, but here's what I hear: "I am interested in what your groups are doing to buzz each other and buzz buzz buzz and buzz to buzz buzz."

I want you to show me what actions you are taking to make your job easier and make the product flow faster...and with highest quality. I want to support you in your endeavors. Only you know what works, what does not work and how to improve your area.

Translation: "I want to see that your jobs are so easy to do that we can send them to workers in Russia/Asia/India who have minimal training and who will accept salaries a fifth the size of yours." The rest is all just fluff, spouted in order to pander to his boss(es) and the nameless, faceless employees so many levels below him.

Note: I'm all for spreading the wealth of the world to all people, especially those in developing countries. However, plans such as those put in place to offload/offshore/export jobs to developing countries never send the salaries along as well. The savings had in training someone in India, for example, to do a job traditionally done here always goes to the very wealthy at the top and never to the workers doing the work. The über-wealthy CEOs fully take advantage of the depressed standard of living of people in developing countries and, rather than bringing that standard up by paying similar salaries to what a person in the US might make, pay a fraction of what they should. Work traditionally done in the US would stay right here if CEOs were forced to pay equitable salaries to workers in developing countries rather than pocket the difference between what we make here and what corpwhoreations can get away with paying workers in other countries.

As the current state map (buzz buzz) stated, the whole process was a push system (buzz buzz) where the queue time (buzz buzz) for resolution could be measured in months if not years. Though the...issue was addressed the root cause analysis (buzz buzz buzz) and resolution took up to 694! (694...nanoseconds? Millennia? What!?!!) It is great to know we have tremendous opportunities in responsiveness to our customers.

You realize, of course, (hey Kurt, Erica...what's up!) that the last little bit there is more commonly known as "spin". Does he think our customers are happy that our response time is horrendous? I'm nearly positive that the customers would be infinitely happier with our having tremendous responsiveness, rather than tremendous opportunities to improve our responsiveness. But, if the relationship between supplier and customer is anything like that between BushCo and your average US citizen, I'm sure the customers are absolutely giddy over the fact that the supplier sucks...but has tremendous opportunities for improvement; which the supplier may or may not ever actually accomplish.

The future state map (buzz buzz) was created in the workshop and the implementation plans look great. The Value stream maps (buzz buzz buzz) has help (sic) them organize and prioritize the meaningful kaizen bursts (buzz buzz) to work. One of the many success (sic) that came out of the Lean Academy is the need for a better resolution system. So the RFA (Request for Action) was born.

Life here just wouldn't be worth living without a good acronym. And where the hell did this guy learn grammar? He sure as hell can wander around watching other people work -- while patting himself on the back for it, I'm sure -- but string together a coherent sentence? I guess not. Is this why I don't make six figures?? Because I understand correct sentence structure? (Ignoring the fact that, from time to time, I abuse it in favor of creative license). Wait, I'm seeing a parallel emerge...this high-level director has poor grammar. The Imbecile-in-Chief can't even speak the language without tripping himself up. It must be that the higher one goes in the power structure, the less competent one must be. It's kind of flattering, in a frightening sort of way, considering how I'm on one of the lower rungs of the ladder (and content to stay there).

An employee comment included in the e-mail from the Director:

"The Lean Academy is an excellent workshop. I didn't really see the flow of the work and how the system worked together or in many cases, didn't work together. Seeing is believing. Lean is more a culture change than just making process changes. It is the way to go...frankly, I'm constantly challenged by how I can find waste and eliminate waste in the big picture."

Nice work, Kiss-ass. You've successfully strung together some lovely buzz phrases. What, too under-zealous? You realize, of course, (Kurt, what's up!) that I'm what's known in the "lean world" as a...oh, crap. I'd remember what the term for me was if it was important enough to have paid attention to in the class. Go ahead and pick a word. Something opposite of "enabler/champion/change agent". The key is, (hey Kurt!) it doesn't really matter what the word is, just so long as it sounds good. Something like a "hinderer". Blocker. Humbug. In the real world, the term would be something along the line of a "bullshit sniffer". Someone who can smell the bullshit from a mile away. In the Lean world, I'm known as "resistant". Not because I think getting better at what you do is a bad idea, but just because I see it as common sense stuff (I use the term loosely since common sense hardly seems common these days) and that assigning buzzwords and zealously ramming them down everyone's throats is a nuisance.

Pat Robertson's (Broken) Crystal Ball

This guy will pull any old thing out of his ass just to make it look like he's actually got a line on the wishes of an impossibly non-existent being who, if did exist, probably couldn't be bothered to even notice the likes of Robertson, other than to point and laugh.

On the January 3 edition of Christian Broadcasting Network's The 700 Club, Reverend Pat Robertson, host and Christian Coalition of America founder, made predictions for the New Year based on what he said God told him during a recent prayer retreat.

On the 700 Club broadcast, Robertson touted his 2004 New Year's prediction that President George W. Bush would win re-election by "a blowout" as an example of a past prediction that turned out to be correct. On January 2, 2004, Robertson stated: "I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way." As Media Matters for America has noted, Bush's margin of victory was the smallest for a reelected incumbent president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

Other Robertson predictions have fared less well. According to a February 15, 1988, Washington Post article, Robertson said, "I heard the Lord saying 'I have something else for you to do. I want you to run for president of the United States.'" The same article noted that during one campaign stop during the 1988 presidential race, Robertson stated: "This is where God wanted me to be. ... Here I am in New Hampshire, before a major primary." He then said, "I assure you that I am going to be the next president of the United States," according to a February 15 Washington Post article. After trailing George H.W. Bush and Senator Bob Dole in the Republican primaries, Robertson's 1988 presidential campaign ended before the Republican convention. A February 2004 article in Church & State magazine (published by Americans United for Separation of Church and State) noted several Robertson predictions that turned out to be false, including that Russia would invade Israel in 1982, and that there would be a worldwide economic collapse in 1985. The article went on to mention that "In his 1991 book, The New World Order, Robertson predicted that U.S. Sen. Jay Rockefeller would be elected president in 1996."

Robertson's predictions for 2005:

• The economy: "Again, 2005 is going to be a year of extraordinary prosperity for this nation and for CBN [Christian Broadcasting Network]. And I think the American stock market is going to surge upward, if I heard from the Lord. Again, ladies and gentlemen, don't go and buy stock on my recommendation, but that's what I feel in my heart. The Lord was saying it's going to be a super good year."

"So, it's definitely going to be a fantastic year for the stock market...unless, of course, it's not. Which means you all should absolutely not go out and buy stock based on my prediction because I can't guarantee that my god is telling me the truth or that he even exists. Except that you really should buy stock, otherwise why would I be telling you this, because I have the utmost faith that god is right. But don't count on it", Robertson basically said, absolutely unequivocally.

George W. Bush: "Well, the Lord has some very encouraging news for George Bush ...

Which means that "the Lord" has some very disheartening, dangerous, and -- for a lot of people -- deadly news for the rest of the planet.

...What I heard (what you heard? Must be some kind of god-grapevine.) is that Bush is now positioned to have victory after victory (that wasn't god saying that, it was the CEOs of Diebold and ES&S) and that his second term is going to be one of triumph, which is pretty strong stuff. ... He'll have Social Security reform passed. He'll have tax reform passed. He'll have conservative judges on the courts. And that basically he is positioned for a series of dramatic victories which I hope will hearten him and his advisers. They don't have to be timid in this matter because the wind is blowing at his back, and he can move forward boldly and get results."

• Muslims and others turning to Jesus Christ: "In America, again if I'm hearing God right, (ah yes, the thundering voice of god...often difficult to hear. Does god mumble now? S-s-st-stutter?) we will see a tremendous incident of miracles in the year 2005. ... God's spirit is going to be moving in dramatic power around the world. And his spirit is going to be touching the hearts of many in the Muslim world (I don't believe Muslims will interpret bombs lobbed at them and bullets and missiles fired at them by god's Christian army as a touch on the heart by the spirit of god) and they will be turning to the gospel, to Jesus Christ. I think many of them already are, but this is going to be an acceleration that will really amaze the world. ... 'Revival will break out throughout the Muslim world, my [God's] truth will penetrate their hearts. The hold of that falsehood that has gripped them will be broken.'"

• Terrorism and global security: "2005 will be another good year for the world. (With the Bush maladministraion still in power? Not likely.) The terrorist threat will diminish. Nations will walk in peace, but it will be an illusion. The peril to Israel is greater now than it has ever been for she will be seduced into a false peace that will leave her vulnerable."

So, rest assured that the world is safe. Only it's not. Good, solid prediction there, you stupid ass-clown.

• The Supreme Court: "The vendetta against religion in America is about to end. ... 'I [God] will remove judges from the Supreme Court quickly and their successors will refuse to sanction the attacks on religious faith.'"

Vendetta against god? Attacks on religious faith?? What sadistic fantasy country does our boy Pat live in where the majority religion -- and I mean huge majority, none of this 51% = sweeping victory crap -- is the victim?