Weak God

This guy lays down some of the weakest arguments regarding God that I've ever seen.

He (God) can't get over the claim by the blasphemers that man is a million years old. "Look at me," He said, "I'm 10,000 years old, and just barely hanging on. Can you imagine what a million-year-old would look like? There'd be nothing left but dust."

Barely hanging on? Not exactly a vision of omnipotence. And apparently, lacking the intelligence to understand the difference between "humankind" and "a man". Also, clearly an invention of humans, given that humankind has been around a good bit longer than 10,000 years.

He (God) was also deeply hurt by their idea that man just came along willy-nilly, everything left to chance. He pointed to the variety of people all over the world. "How would it be possible for an Eskimo to 'evolve' into an English Lord, or a Sunni Muslim into a Southern Baptist?

What moron ever made those claims? A severe misunderstanding of the fundamental claims of evolution is clearly at work here.

"Look, I made some mistakes," he (God) said, "like the avocado pits being too big, and all that salt-water in the oceans. But the biggest was giving man too big a brain."

Well, then, I'm certainly convinced to revere this god's omniscience; what with all the accidental salt in the oceans and the mishap of creating a being whose intelligence is threatening to its creator.

"I'm being challenged by every smart-mouth community college science major, two-bit atheist, and self-appointed constitutional lawyer saying there is no creation."

A truly omniscient, omnipotent god shouldn't be fearful, or even slightly annoyed, at the thought of being challenged by his creation. I would think it flattering to have created a being so intelligent that it questions its creator. It should certainly not be cause for concern to an omniscient and omnipotent being.

"If I hear of one more letter from these crack-pots about keeping my holy word out of the Dover classrooms I'm going to smite them with a thunder-bolt."

Dear god: please instruct your followers to keep your holy word out of the Dover classrooms.

~waiting~ No smoting thunderbolts. Interesting.